Felix’s grip tightened, the sensation of his fingers taking her away from the confusion of her mind, for just long enough to remind her that he was there. Something she had wished for her whole life. She didn’t have to drown alone for once.
“You need to breathe.” He crouched in front of her, close enough that she could see the tension in his jaw. “Look at me.”
“I can’t.” The shadows lashed out again, one tendril striking the tree so hard the bark splintered.
Felix caught her wrist, his grip a tender force.
“Yes, you can. Breathe with me.”
She shook her head, gasping. Black swallowed the edges of her vision, pulling her under the surface. The shadows were spinning faster now, a vortex of darkness and rain and grief, and she couldn’t?—
“Avery—fuck?—”
The world tilted. Her body went limp as the darkness came to collect her. The last thing she felt was Felix’s arms catching her before she hit the ground.
Warm water lappedat her thighs as her consciousness returned. Avery’s eyes fluttered open. She was in a bathtub? Her bathtub, back in the dorm. The water was murky but warm, almost hot, as steam curled in wisps around her. Her clothes were gone, but someone had left her in her undergarments. Candles flickered along the walls, the bath catching their golden reflection. She ran her hand through the warm water, trying to remember how she got here.
“Warm enough?” he said.
She jumped as she saw Felix next to her, the water cascading over the edge.
“Goddess, you scared me.”
He didn’t say anything. His shirt was still damp and clinging to his frame. At least he still had pants on. Silently, he raised a washcloth, running it over a piece of mud on her arm.
The tenderness of it caught her off guard.
“If you want me to leave, I will. Just say the word,” he said.
The words sat on her tongue; she even opened her mouth to say them.Leave. I don’t want you here.But they didn’t come.They died in her throat as Felix moved closer and reached up to her chin, wiping away the dried blood from where she had bitten through her lip. She stared at him. His eyes caught hers, something unrecognizable flashing through them before he looked away, his jaw tight. She had called him a monster, but is this really how a monster would act? Regret twisted her gut as she grimaced at the memory.
Felix tilted his head. “What are you thinking about?”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
He paused, dipping the cloth back into a separate bowl of water before continuing to work down her arm. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
She did. She had no way of knowing if a shifter had killed her father, or if he was even dead. Pain tugged at her chest as she thought about him. One thing her mother had said had been right at least. If he were alive, why hadn’t he come back? Why did he leave her? Death would be easier to accept. The alternative, that he’d chosen to stay gone, cut deeper.
The mud came off in small chunks, small scrapes, and scratches, revealing themselves.
“You don’t have to,” she started.
“Yes, I do.” His jaw tightened. “You were covered in mud and blood and half-frozen. I wasn’t going to leave you like that.”
She swallowed, as if it could force down everything her mother had just served her.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out again.
“Avery,” he said, brushing wet hair from her cheek. “Don’t ever apologize for something that isn’t your fault. You are far crueler to yourself than you have been to me.”
That was enough to push her over the edge. Fresh tears spilled over her as a sob racked her. She tried to wipe them away, but they kept coming. Her whole body shook. From the dinner,from the rage, from the aching loneliness that has lived inside her for so long.
Because she just wanted someone, anyone, to fucking hold her and tell her she wasn’t broken for feeling this way. More than that, she wanted the warmth of someone who wouldn’t leave her when she did.
Somehow, Felix knew. To her surprise, he stepped into the bath with her, clothes and all. He sat down across from her, dragging a sound from her that was half-laugh, half-sob, as he pulled her into his arms, surrounding her like a barrier against the harsh world.
“You’re getting wet,” Avery said.
