I let out a hollow laugh. "Are you serious? Explaining it to my kids and hoping it doesn't confuse the hell out of them? Becoming the only thing anyone wants to talk about in interviews or online? Losing roles because some of my connections are bigoted as fuck? You keep saying it'll be fine, but you don't know that for sure, Gary. You could be wrong. Things are better now, yeah, but this shit is still hard. Give me a break."
The silence that follows is heavy, and I'm about to apologize when Gary finally says, "If that's how you feel, Vince, then I really don't think being friends with Andy is a good idea. The more time you spend with him, the deeper you'll dig this hole. You need less Andy, not more."
I lean back in my chair, groaning. "This morning, he runs next to me, shirtless, completely soaked. He laughs at my jokes. He calls me out on my shit like he can see right through me. And then he sits there in my car, quiet and pretty, while we listen to the rain. Gary, I swear, it's like he's doing this on purpose. He's torturing me."
"He's not doing anything on purpose," Gary says, his voice calm but firm. "He's trying to be your friend. He likes you."
"I'm trying to be his friend too, but at this rate, my right hand is going to fall off—"
"Vince!" Gary hisses, clearly trying not to wake Frank. "Can you not?"
"Just tell me how to push this aside and be friends."
"You can't."
"What if we only run three times a week?"
"You can't, Vince. You're either in or out. Stop running with him."
"I don't want to stop running with him. He knows all my stupid book references. He makes me run faster than I usually would—not that I'd ever tell him that. He's a better runner than me. He completely smoked me on that one run, and it was humiliating in a way I can't stop thinking about. He didn't say a damn word about it." I laugh at the memory, despite myself.
"Vince." Gary's voice is filled with exasperation.
"He's fun, Gary. He gets me."
"Then stop the flirting."
"He started the flirting thing, not me."
Gary groans loudly, the sound vibrating through the phone. "Why did you call me, Vince? The answer you want is how to get with Andy. Go dump Sam and ask him out. Problem solved."
"I can't." My voice cracks. "Gary, you know I can't. I'm not going to risk my career over this. I have so many projects lined up to promote. I just can't. What I need is to squash this and keep things normal between us."
"What the hell do you want me to do, hun? Wave a magic wand?"
"Start by telling him to keep his shirt on in the rain! Or maybe never take it off again. I can't think straight when I see him like that. God, his chest--"
"That's enough!" Gary interrupts, his voice a sharp whisper. "Keep me out of this, Vince. Good luck with your whole plan to be besties with someone who's scrambling your brain, you gorgeous idiot."
"Thanks, Gary."
The line clicks dead in my ear, silence flooding the room where his voice had just been. I set the phone down on the polished oak table, the cool glass against my palm a stark contrast to the heat still clinging to my skin from the shower. The steam has begun to dissipate, leaving behind a thin mist that hangs in the air. My reflection in the dark screen of the television is a blur of shadows and muted light, a stranger wearing my bathrobe.
Gary's words echo in the sudden quiet, each one a tiny weight settling in my chest.
Scrambling your brain. Gorgeous idiot.
I run a hand through my still-damp hair, the strands catching in the rough calluses on my fingertips. Outside my window, the sky is beginning to lighten, shifting from deep indigo to the soft gray of approaching dawn. Another day. Another run. Another chance to stand beside Andy and pretend my world isn't tilting on its axis.
The bathrobe feels constricting suddenly, too heavy against my skin.
I rise from the table, the movement sending droplets of water cascading from my hair onto my shoulders. The sound is barely audible, yet it feels deafening in the stillness. Our next run looms ahead of me like a beautiful, terrifying edge. One more step, and I might just fall.
Chapter 13
The Height of the Roman Empire
Vince
