I laugh, but it doesn't quite reach my eyes. "I guess so."
The fire crackles between us as I stare into the flames. Ted not wanting to come camping stings more than I want to admit, but I push the thought aside. I can tell Vince isn't done with the topic.Hestill has that look in his eye, like he wants to press further. He doesn't.
Instead, he shifts gears. "'Simulatio amoris pejor odio est.' Do you know what that means?"
I blink, caught off guard.
Vince has a habit of dropping random Latin phrases on mefor laughs.But this time, I actually recognize it.
"Actually, yeah," I say, a little smug. "I do."
He raises an eyebrow, skeptical. "No, you don't..."
"I'm not saying I'm fluent, but I remember that one. Pliny the Younger. 'Pretending to love someone is worse than hating them.' Or something like that."
His grin widens, and for a moment, I think I've impressed him. My chest swells a little.
"Can I ask you a non-private question next?" he says.
I nod, bracing myself.
"Sam and I are officially celebrating our six months next week."
The words land like a stone in my gut. Something sour coils there, hot and sharp—jealousy, bitter as bile, rising up my throat. "Well, that's exciting," I manage, the taste of ash coating my tongue as I force the words past the lump in my throat.
"I want to do something special for her," he continues, oblivious to my internal meltdown. "I'm thinking about surprising her with a trip to Hawaii. Sightseeing, snorkeling, hiking, dinners on the beach... but is that too much?"
"Are you kidding?" I say, pushing the bitterness down as far as it will go. "That's so romantic, Vince. I've never had anyone surprise me with a trip like that. Who wouldn'twant that?"
"You think so? It's not too much for six months?"
"Not at all."
“I can bea lot sometimes.”Vince laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm scared I'll overwhelm her.I just wanted an outside opinion, you know?Thanks."
I stare into the fire, wishing I could step into it and let the flames consume me. The thought is dark, but it creeps in before I can stop it.
"Andy? You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I blurt out automatically.
We both laugh at the absurdity of my response, but I can feel Vince's eyes on me, searching. "Fine, huh?" he teases. "Shit, it's too much, isn't it? Maybe I should save it for our one-year anniversary. Or if we decide to, you know, take things to the nextlevel."
The words hit me harder than they should have.
Marry her. He's talking about marrying her.
I shoot to my feet, unable to keep the emotions at bay any longer. "Sorry, I have to go."
"What?" Vince laughs, clearly thrown off. "Andy, where do you have to go? We're camping."
"I'm gonnagotake a piss. Stop being so needy," Itease, the words coming out harsher than I intend.
Theself-deprecatinglaugh that escapes him islow. His grin widens, a flash of white in the firelight, and he swats at my thigh, a playful tap.
"Get out of here, Andy," he says, his voice warm.
I manage a smile that feels stretched thin across my face, a mask to hide the storm brewing inside me. "Don't miss me too much," I toss over my shoulder.
