“And all the ones after that.”
She peeks up. “You don’t have to say that. It’s probably too soon for me to have said that.”
“Pen, I want an entire house full of kids with you.”
Her smile emerges again, and the tension around us dissipates. Thank god.
“Me too.”
Our eyes lock and hold over the flickering candles, and I place my hand over hers.
“It’s weird, right? I mean, that it feels so natural already?” She wipes her mouth and takes a sip of her wine.
“Yeah, but I love it. It’s what I always wanted. And I don’t want to go slow just because someone said you have to, or society dictates what makes a relationship successful and long-term. I love you, Penelope, and I want to become a father figure to Hazel, but on her terms. I want to marry you, I want to have more kids with you. And I’m done being scared to admit that. And I don’t want to wait when we’ve already waited so long.”
“You’re going to ruin my makeup.” She swipes a finger under her eyes.
“Is that you avoiding a response because you don’t feel the same?”
“No!” She shakes her head. “I do… I want all of that. It was always you, but there’s a lot still to consider.”
“Like?”
“Like my dad is your manager, and how it will look if that comes out. Your contract and what that means. Relocation?”
I’ve been playing great lately and feel back to my old self. Every good game I have, I gain more confidence. “I hope I get to stay in Chicago.”
“Me, too.”
“I’m not sure what I did to piss that guy off. Or why he wants Harkins to take my spot. My only saving grace is that I have your dad on my side.”
She smiles, slides her chair out, and walks around the table to me. “And he’ll always be on your side. He loves you more than he loves me.”
I open my legs and she slides between them, sitting on my lap and putting her arms around my neck. Nothing feels better than when she comes to me.
“No, you’re his baby.”
“Ah, Hazel took that spot, which I’m thankful for.” She leans her head to mine. “Whatever happens with your contract, we’ll get through it.”
“I can commute. There’s no need for you and Hazel to move. She’s settled here.”
She doesn’t move, allowing me to hold her. “Let’s just give it some time, but Decker.” She pulls back and looks me in the eye. “If this is going to work, we are united. It will be hard for Hazel, but having you in our lives trumps that.”
God, she’s killing me. A small part of me still feels like I don’t deserve this. To have everything I’ve wanted so fast is making it hard to really believe that I’m here, living the life I want. That it won’t be snatched away.
“Oh.” She gets up off my lap, and I reach for her, but she swats my hands away, grabbing her clutch from the table and pulling out her phone. “Did you see this?”
She returns to my lap. I stare at Webber Field across from us while she searches on her phone. I can’t imagine playing for anyone else. Sure, I want to stay here for the family I’ve built with my teammates, and I don’t want Hazel or Penelope to upend their life, least of all for me. I love this city, I love this team, and I love the fans. It would break my heart to leave. But what I don’t tell Penelope is that I’m almost positive I’m already out. I don’t think my performance is the problem. I think it’s my salary.
“Look.” She puts her screen in front of my face, and it takes a second for my eyes to focus.
“HandsOffDeck.” My forehead wrinkles.
I take the phone from her, scrolling down the Instagram account and looking at the posts. It looks like an account dedicated to keeping me here in Chicago. Everyone on here is talking about the fact that my contract is up this year, and Chicago hasn’t said anything about re-signing me.
“Look at all the comments. I mean, it just started, but it’s gaining a following. Chicago loves you.”
I scan a few comments about people saying Whitaker is stupid for even playing around with me. That another team is going to snag me. All their comments hit me right in the heart. Maybe this city loves me as much as I love them.
