I glance at the field and witness Harkins fall to his chest to catch a ball down the line. He rises to his feet and still gets the throw to Donnelly. Not as clean and quick, but still showing the job could be his.
Foster’s cleats tap along the cement, coming closer. There was a time when him coming closer meant an argument was about to ensue, but now he sits beside me. Ever since Callie came into his life, he’s changed. That chip on his shoulder, all his anger, it dissolves more every day.
“You have no idea what they’re thinking.”
We watch Harkins take the reps that should be mine. Reps I’m supposed to own. Reps I’ve earned.
“Your bat will keep you in, and you’re way too fucking good. You have how many Gold Gloves?”
I frown. “Everyone has their day when the game gets too fast, too much. I’m on the downward slope.”
He laughs. “You were a late bloomer, remember? That gives you a few extra years.”
“I don’t think it works like that.” Contracts only care about numbers.
“Are you going to address the real problem?” Foster asks, arms crossed, tattoos stretched taut across his forearms.
My stomach drops. I keep my eyes on the field as though it can save me because if I look at him right now, he’ll see everything I’ve been pretending isn’t lying just under the surface.
We could be in the Guinness Book of World Records for how different two fraternal twins can be. But even with our differences, he has everything I want in life. A woman who looks at him with stars in her eyes. A daughter who reaches for him like a safety blanket. The problem is I want all of that, and I want it with the one woman I can’t ever have.
“That they’re not even talking about signing me again? Saying they’ll see how the season plays out.” Talking about my spot on the roster is the easy answer. The safe topic. The one that doesn’t blow up everything we’ve been trying to rebuild.
Foster doesn’t say anything for a minute. “You should’ve let me hit Dad.”
“I don’t think it’s a black mark on my record. Certainly not the reason they aren’t re-signing me. Besides, it felt too good.” It had been years in the making, the dreams I had of hitting him.
He chuckles. “Another reason you should’ve let me be the one to hit him.”
“He’s our father.” I can’t deny the soft spot I still have for a man who never loved me. He only ever saw value in Foster and Foster’s abilities. I hate that I still crave anything from him. Even just a sorry for leaving you behind. He doesn’t deserve any time in my head.
“Bullshit, he wasn’t a proper father to either of us.”
All the shit that went down last year with our dad brought my brother and me closer, so I can’t hate him, but I also know that while I was raised by our mom, Foster endured our dad’s punishing demands that he be perfect on the mound. Somehow, he survived it. And I’m the one falling apart now.
“But this shit? What’s happening out there? Sulking because they’re not discussing re-signing you isn’t going to help. You know you’re better than what you’re showing out there. So, whatever is in that head of yours, straighten it out.”
His words land like a shove. Not cruel, but honesty we never gave each other before.
Foster rises to his feet but stands next to me for a moment, eyes still on me. His pause is loaded, and I’m not sure how long we can both ignore my real problem.
“What?”
“Is it her?” He arches an eyebrow.
My throat tightens. I don’t answer because I don’t want to start our newfound relationship with a lie. If I say it out loud, it’ll be another problem standing between us.
“Penelope?” he clarifies, and just her name leaving his lips tightens that hold inside me.
My fingers curl around the edge of the bench. I keep my face neutral, the way I’ve learned to whenever she’s around. “Give me some credit. I think I can narrow it down to who you’re talking about.”
A cocky smile crosses his lips. “You didn’t answer the question. I know you guys and?—”
“No. We were over a long time ago.” Three years ago, to be exact. Probably before then if I’m honest with myself.
His eyebrows raise. “You sure?”
I tip my head and stare him dead in the eye because I want this reconciliation with my brother. It’s something I’ve wanted for years but thought was a pipe dream. Only one thing could demolish it, and that’s if I decide to go after Penelope Ripley.
