“I’m sorry.” He rubbed a hand over his face, wanting to hide from everything. “This is not how a fucking beta is supposed to behave.”
Cam’s burst of laughter took him by surprise, and his hand dropped into his lap. “Is your memory that bad, Daryl? There is no right way to behave where a bond is concerned.”
“Potential bond,” Daryl muttered, unable to help himself.
“Daryl, I of all people am in no position to judge and would never presume to do so. I don’t give a fuck whether your behaviour is or isn’t fitting for some arbitrary idea of how a beta should behave.
I only care that my betas are honest, loyal, and treat their pack with the respect they deserve.”
“But it happened in front of the council members.” Alpha Cornell’s words had wedged in his mind and refused to leave. “I feel as though I’ve let you down.”
Cam sighed again. “Daryl, stop.” The thudding of Daryl’s heart lessened in response. “Alpha Cornell and the others will have seen their fair share of potential bonds. It’s not something you can help. But regardless, it’s not the council’s reaction I’m concerned about.”
Daryl shivered, the chill breeze coming through the still open windows suddenly making itself known.
“You haven’t let me down, Daryl.”
“But—”
“It’s not an ideal situation, no. But this is your personal life. And as I said before, as your alpha, I’m not about to dictate who you can and can’t sleep with.”
Relief washed through him at Cam’s words, his wolf relaxing under his skin. But they’d been friends first before Cam became his alpha. “And as my friend?”
A huff of incredulous laughter met his question. “As your friend . . . knowing how you feel about bonds? What the fuck were you thinking, Daryl? If the past few months have taught us anything, it’s that a potential bond can be triggered despite what your mind insists is true.”
“I know. But I thought . . .” When he replayed it back in his head, the arguments he’d used to convince Jason they could have sex without worrying seemed laughable.
“What?”
“Fuck,” Daryl whispered, then proceeded to tell Cam everything. When he got to the events of that morning, his breath caught. “How did I not see what was happening? All the signs were there, but I refused to accept them.”
“Of all the wolves in our pack to get involved with, Jason was probably the worst one you could’ve chosen.”
Daryl immediately bristled. “Why? Despite all that shit with Newell, he’s managed not to let any of it affect him. He’s one of the most loyal and honest shifters I’ve met, and his unit love him. Fuck, he even puts up with my moody arse without complaining.”
“And you trust him completely.”
It hadn’t always been true, but it was now. “Yes.”
Cam’s sigh was resigned, and Daryl imagined him shaking his head. “And knowing all that, you still thought you could have sex and not risk starting the bonding process? Come on, Daryl . . . he’s perfect for you.”
In hindsight, he should’ve seen it coming a mile away. But he’d been convinced his hatred of bonds would stop anything in its tracks. How fucking wrong he’d been.
“None of that matters now, though,” Cam added, softly.
“No.” Daryl pushed himself up to his knees and shuffled over to the nearest window to slide it shut.
“I take it you’ve not changed your mind about bonds?”
“I—” He placed his hand over his heart, closed his eyes. The pull was there, tucked behind his ribcage, but he couldn’t give in to it. Wouldn’t. “No.”
“How’s Jason taking it?”
“Like you’d expect,” Daryl muttered, trying not to picture the hurt in Jason’s expression.
“Ah.”
He knew Cam got it, but the words came out anyway. “He’d bond in a heartbeat if I wanted it too. But he won’t push, won’t try to persuade me.”
