Like I should be.
That thought made him shudder.
He didn’t want to die either, but was this better? This... this thing that he was now? “You made me into a monster,” he ground out. “Why?”
Jesse let his head fall back as he stared up at the ceiling. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
Ian eyed the long line of his throat, wondered what it would be like to graze his teeth across the fine dusting of stubble there. Maybe sink his fangs— He caught himself and attempted to focus on what Jesse had just said. “Which part?”
“All of it.” Jesse turned to look at him, expression pained. “I should never have approached you that night in the bar, never should’ve dragged you into my world, but I couldn’t help myself.” A faint smile teased his lips. “I was drawn to you.”
“Lucky me,” Ian mumbled. He’d liked Jesse, liked him a lot. But if he’d known all this at the start, he’d never have got involved with him.
Jesse’s face fell, his expression easy for Ian to read now. He looked broken.
“I’m so fucking sorry. I stopped things between us as soon as I realised I was getting too invested, too attached, but it was too late. If I’d known your best friend was a member of the VLCD, I would never have started anything with you in the first place, but—”
Ian’s head snapped up. “Blake? Is he—”
“He’s fine. Even Peter would never try something that stupid. But they smelt you on him when the VLCD came to do their inspection.”
So this was the coven Blake went to see.
“Both Raph and Peter recognised your scent, and there was nothing I could do.”
“You could’ve fucking warned me.” Ian gesticulated wildly. “I don’t know about you, but I think a heads-up about someone coming to murder me was the least I deserved.”
“Raph forbade me to contact you.”
“And you always do what thisRaphperson says?”
“He’s the coven leader,” Jesse answered, as if that explained everything. “And nothing was supposed to happen to you. Raph sent Peter to find and observe you, discover what you knew without alerting you to his presence.” Jesse gripped his hair again, and for a second Ian was reminded of doing the same as Jesse sucked his—Focus. “Not fucking attack you in a filthy back alley and leave you for dead.”
“Apparently he didn’t get the memo.” If only he’d texted Cate back, asked her why she needed him to meet her when most other Wednesday nights she went round to her mates.Oh fuck, Cate!“Did he hurt Cate?” Ian blurted, anxiety spiking. “He said he didn’t, said he only got her to send me that text, but I don’t fucking trust him and—”
“Hey, slow down.” Jesse put his hands out and Ian hissed at him.
“Slow down? That fucker used his vampire mojo or whatever to mess with her head, and I have no idea if she’s lying in a ditch somewhere. So don’t tell me to slow the fuck down!” He pushed himself to his feet, swaying at the speed he moved.
Wow.
Shaking his head a little, he glared down at Jesse. “I need to go make sure she’s okay.” He ran for the door, the room a sudden blur around him. The solid thing he slammed into didn’t feel much like wood, though.
Jesse’s arms closed around him. “I can’t let you leave, Ian.”
Ian fought against him, but as strong as he was, Jesse was stronger, and his grip didn’t falter. “Why?”
“So many reasons, I’m not sure where to start.”
“Pick one,” Ian snarked. “We’ll go from there.”
“Fine. But if I let you go; do you promise not to try and escape?”
Ian scoffed.
Jesse let his head fall back and hit the door. “Do you at least promise to hear me out first.”
He could give him that, he supposed. “Yeah, okay.”
