CHAPTER TEN
WILL SATat the table after Patrick left, his head in his hands, wondering what had just happened. One minute they were having a good time, laughing and chatting, the next it had all gone to shit.
He’d thought that maybe they could come out of all this and remain friends. Yes, it would’ve sucked for a bit—he’d got used to having Patrick around—but after a few weeks, they would have been okay.
Probably.
But now? Fuck… Patrick had gone and voiced everything Will had been trying to ignore, and Will had just… well, he’d panicked. All of what Patrick had said was true. It was good between them, easy, and the sex was some of the best Will had had. But it didn’t change the fact that Patrick would be leaving at the end of the summer to go back to uni, and Will didn’t want to do the whole long-distance thing with a twenty-two-year-old student.
Patrick was so stubborn, though, refusing to give up on the idea, and his arguments for giving it a go were so convincing, Will had been so close to saying “fuck it, why not.” But his reasons for saying no were valid, whether he was tempted to ignore them or not. So he did the only thing he could think of to get Patrick to stop.
He told Patrick he didn’t want a relationship withhim.
It was a shitty thing to do. Will knew Patrick would take it to heart and not question it, and as soon as he’d said it, he wanted to take it back. The look on Patrick’s face wasn’t worth it, and he tried to get him to stay so he could apologize and explain that wasn’t what he’d meant at all. But then Patrick was gone, and Will was left feeling like a total arsehole.
He’d been hoping they could have enjoyed one last night together, have a little fun before they had to stop, which in hindsight was asking a little much from both of them.
Fuck. What had he been thinking?
Getting involved with Patrick was a bad idea from the start, but he’d ignored all the warning signs, because… well, because Will liked him. Patrick was funny and smart and hot. Will’s resolve had pretty much crumbled after seeing him naked.
Still, he should have stopped it before it got this far. Now things were about as bad as they could get. Ben was going to be so pissed, and Will couldn’t blame him.
He made his way slowly back to the flat, not looking forward to facing Patrick again, but not wanting to leave it like this. It’d probably be better if he stayed at his parents’ house tonight, otherwise it’d be awkward and uncomfortable, and that was the last thing Will wanted.
The lounge was empty when he let himself in. Both the kitchen and the bathroom were empty too, so Patrick was either in Ben’s bedroom or out. That was probably for the best, all things considered. Will pulled his two suitcases out from under the bed and started to pack.
He hadn’t brought all that much with him to Ben’s, mainly clothes and toiletries, so after an hour or so, he was nearly done. Cleo sat watching him the whole time, not moving from her spot on his pillow. He’d not seen much of her the past few days; clearly she preferred Patrick’s company, which was fine with Will.
She flicked her tail once, squinted at him in her own special judgmental way, and jumped off the bed and out the door.
He stripped the bed and walked into the kitchen to shove the sheets into the washing machine. They were Ben’s anyway.
With that done, Will grabbed both cases and wheeled them out into the lounge. He looked around the flat, ostensibly checking to see if he’d forgotten anything, but really just putting off leaving. The last two weeks had been confusing and intense at times, but Will couldn’t deny how much he’d enjoyed spending time with Patrick.
He knew he had to leave and give them some time apart to try and get back to being friends, if Patrick wanted to, but he had a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach at the thought of it all being over.
God, he needed to get a grip. He’d lived with Darren for over a year, and he’d managed to get over him all right.
Patrick’s door was slightly ajar, and Will paused outside on his way back from the bathroom. Even with the way things currently were between them, Will didn’t want to leave without at least telling Patrick he was going. Letting him wake up to find Will had already moved out would be a dick move, and Will felt bad enough as it was.
He pushed the door open farther, his gaze immediately landing on Patrick, starfished across Ben’s bed and snoring softly. He looked so young lying there, relaxed in sleep—a harsh reminder of why Will needed to leave.
But not before saying good-bye.
He walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. Patrick stirred when it dipped under Will’s weight, and rolled onto his side, his eyes fluttering open.
“Hey.” Patrick smiled sleepily, all warm and happy as he met Will’s gaze. Will almost smiled back in surprise, but then the morning’s events obviously came back to Patrick, and the smile slipped off his face. “What do you want?”
Will sighed, glancing down at his feet and then back up. “I’m gonna sleep at my parents’ tonight. I’m all packed so….”
A flash of hurt crossed Patrick’s face before he covered his eyes, effectively shutting Will out.
“I’m sorry.” Will reached out to tug Patrick’s hand away, so he could see him.
Patrick grumbled under his breath, but let him. “What for?”
“For… well, for the way this has turned out.” Will rubbed his thumb along the inside of Patrick’s wrist, before he realized what he was doing and let go. “I think we were a little naive to believe this would end well, but I know I didn’t handle it as well as I could have.”
