“Must have been pretty serious to buy a place together, no?”
Ed sighed, taking the time to choose his words. “Yes and no.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Oliver shook his head, chuckling softly.
“I think it was more like we were both renting, paying out far too much to someone else’s pocket, and it seemed the right thing to do at the time. That’s how I feel looking back, anyway.” Both Ruth and Sarah had tried to gently suggest that buying a house might be a rash decision, but he hadn’t wanted to listen. Neither had Tom.
Oliver was silent for a minute, then, “Did you love him?”
“I thought so.” Now he wasn’t so sure. For two people that loved each other, it had been surprisingly easy to walk away.
Silence settled like a heavy blanket; Ed felt the weight of it on his shoulders. Not the easy-going conversation he’d anticipated on a drive to the tree farm.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Oliver scrubbed his hands over his face, letting out a wry chuckle. “I didn’t mean that to get quite so heavy.”
“It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not.” He waved a hand around them. “It’s hardly the place for a conversation like that.” Settling back in his seat, Oliver attempted to change the subject. “What are you going to do for work when you move? Got anything lined up?”
“I’ve got a couple of friends up there who do a similar sort of thing to me.” They stopped at traffic lights, and Ed glanced over to find Oliver watching him, gaze lingering on his mouth when Ed licked his lips. “I um...” It took him a moment to regain his train of thought. “One of them wants to expand the business, so I’m hoping to join him for a bit while I find my feet.” He swallowed, feeling Oliver’s eyes on him as he put the car in gear and set off again. “I’ve got some savings too, so I should be okay moneywise.”
Oliver took a second or two to respond. They were pulling into the tree farm car park when he finally spoke. Sarah and Aiden already parked. “Won’t you miss everyone? Hearing you talk about your family, you all seem really close.”
“We are.” Ed gripped the steering wheel as they came to a stop, a soft sigh escaping. “But I can’t rely on family forever. Got to stand on my own two feet some time.” He sounded bitter to his own ears, and judging from Oliver’s expression, he thought so too.
Oliver opened his mouth, but Ed didn’t want to hear his thoughts on this particular topic, still raw from the last discussion he’d had regarding family eight months ago. He got out of the car, slammed the door shut on whatever Oliver was about to say, and walked over to join his sister and Aiden.
When Oliver reached them, he gave Ed a curious look but didn’t say anything, thank God. Now, out in the fresh air, Ed felt a little foolish for storming off like a moody teen. Hopefully Oliver wouldn’t hold it against him.
Or bring it up again.
“Right.” Sarah zipped up her coat and fished gloves out of her pockets. “Shall we split up and meet back at the van when we’ve got trees?”
Ed nodded. “Don’t take ages though; I know what you’re like shopping.”
Rolling her eyes, Sarah slipped her arm through Aiden’s. “It’s a Christmas tree, Ed, not a pair of shoes.”
“Mhmm.”
He watched her lead Aiden into the rows of trees and disappear out of sight. Leaving him alone with Oliver.
Pre-cut trees lay heaped down one side of the field, and Ed pointed at them. “Want to look at those first or do you want to cut your own?”
“Er...” Oliver scrunched his nose, which was kind of cute, not that Ed would say that out loud. “I’ve never actually cut a tree down before.”
Ahh.
“We don’t do the actual cutting. You pick your tree and then find one of the assistants”—he pointed to the wooden hut at the other side of the car park, where people were paying for their trees— “and they come and cut it down for you.”
“Oh.” Oliver’s cheeks were pink, probably not just from the cold if his sheepish smile was anything to go by. “Makes more sense.”
Ed smiled at him. “Come on. Let’s go see what they’ve got.”
He led the way towards the lines of trees, Oliver close by his side.
“THIS ONE.” Oliver stood next to a beautifully symmetrical Nordmann Fir while Ed held it up for him to inspect, warm breath turning foggy in the chill air. They’d walked through the rows of cut-your-own trees, but nothing had caught his eye. Turned out Sarah wasn’t the one who was a picky Christmas tree shopper.
“You sure?” Ed gestured to the pile of trees beside them. “We can always check out a few more first.”
