“This okay?” he whispered. “You looked like you needed a hug.”
More than I realised. His body was warm and solid, and I relaxed into him, feeling some of the tension ease. I rested my head on his shoulder. “Yeah, this is good. Thanks.”
And it was.
It didn’t feel like it was a prelude to anything sexual, and that was surprisingly okay with me. Work had been long and knackering as usual, and my dad’s visit had been the icing on the cake. Finn’s arm around me was like an anchor in a storm, keeping me grounded, safe. And also loosened my tongue apparently.
“I guess I can’t blame him for being a little pissed off with my choices.”
“Your dad?”
“Yeah.” I felt the weight of his stare. “I was struggling with my A levels a bit in the final year, and him and Mum paid for tutors for the last six months. I never would’ve got such good grades without them.” I nestled into his side more and closed my eyes. “I feel guilty about that. Especially since I got into my first choice uni.”
He was quiet for a bit and I wondered if that tidbit of information had changed his mind about the whole thing. Maybe he thought I was a selfish arsehole for not going.
“What made you change your mind about uni?”
God, where to start. “It wasn’t one thing in particular, I don’t think. I applied because everyone else did. But it wasn’t something I was overly excited about, not like some of my friends, who even at eighteen had clear ideas of what they wanted to do in life. I was clueless.” I laughed. “Still am a bit.”
“You’re only twenty-one, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“That’s not how my dad sees it.”
He reached over and paused the TV. “What about your mum? What does she think to it all?”
My smile was instant. “She’s been great.” Thank god she’d been supportive. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if she’d reacted like my dad. “It was partly down to her that I decided to take a year out and travel.” I think she knew it too. “We’d sat down one night, just the two of us talking and watching some travel programme, and she was telling me all the places she’d like to go if she ever got the chance and how she wished she’d done more when she was younger.”
“A lot of people feel like that when they get older.”
“I know, but it set me thinking. I can go to uni at any age. I don’t have to do it straight from school, and the more I thought about it, the more I didn’t want to go. I wanted to see a bit more of the world while I didn’t really have any responsibilities, like uni or a job.” I sighed. “So I deferred for a year and got a job. My dad thought I was wasting my education, told me it would be increasingly difficult to be successful at university the longer I put off going. Maybe he’s right, I don’t know.”
Finn gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Do you regret not going?”
“Not for a second.” I grinned remembering all the things I’d got to experience. “The last twelve month have been beyond my wildest dreams—scary as fuck sometimes, but amazing—and I’ll always have that. I think it’s shaped me as a person in ways I don’t think I’d have got at university.” I yawned suddenly, the day catching up to me. “I just wish my dad could be proud of me for following my dreams instead of embarrassed that I’m his son.”
Finn didn’t say anything, just held me a bit tighter and restarted the film we were watching. Then a few minutes later he leant in to whisper in my ear. “I think you’re incredibly brave doing what you did, and I’d love to hear about everything you saw sometime, if you’d like to tell me?”
Warmth rushed through me, my chest constricting, and for some stupid reason, my eyes filled with tears. “Yeah,” I choked out, my voice way too rough, so I tried again. “I’d love that. Though I have to warn you, I can talk for hours about it. Just ask Cole.”
His body shook a little as he laughed. “I’m sure I’ll survive.”
My resolve to give him space hung by a thread in that moment, because all I wanted to do was pin him against the cushions and kiss the hell out of him. Instead, I bit the inside of my cheek and focused on the TV.
We lapsed into a comfortable silence, and I finally relaxed enough to enjoy being pressed against him without wanting to jump him. My eyes felt heavy, the rest of me sinking into the cushions.
It felt like home.
Snuggled on the sofa with Finn’s arm securely wrapped around me, I couldn’t decide whether moving in here had been Cole’s best idea ever or his worst.
Saturday morning dawnedbright and clear. The kind of crisp winter morning that I loved—bright blue sky, frost on the ground, and a bite to the air that reminded me Christmas was just around the corner.
Which was the reason Finn and I had driven to the Christmas tree farm. It wasn’t the one I usually went to with Mum, which I was grateful for, but it looked nice enough. Lots of trees to choose from.
Finn parked in the half-full car park and got out. I did the same, pulling on my hat and gloves at the chill. “What sort of tree did you have in mind?” I asked, following Finn to the entrance.
“Erm...” He walked backwards for a moment, facing me, and held his hand up near his head. “One about this high.”
“Right.” I shook my head, laughing. “I can already see this being a long day.”
