“Thank you.” She guided me none too subtly towards the door. “You’re not driving, are you?” she asked, eyeing me with concern. “Those were two large glasses of wine you had.”
“I’m driving,” Finn cut in.
“Oh good.”
Clive joined her as she waited for us to put our shoes and coats on. He casually slipped an arm around her waist and she leant against him. The resentment I usually felt didn’t come. I felt a little awkward seeing my mum with a man but figured that was par for the course.
“Oh,” she said as I zipped up my coat. “I ran into Sean the other day. He was asking if you were back yet. Seemed very happy when I told him you were home.” I caught Finn stiffen out of the corner of my eye.
Whether my mum noticed anything between Finn and me, I had no idea, but she kept on regardless. “He said to give him a ring if you fancied catching up.”
“Thanks.” I bent to give her a kiss, then shook Clive’s hand. “See you soon.”
“Thank you for inviting me,” Finn added, not looking at me. “I hope you have a lovely Christmas.”
“You too.” She waved us off as we trudged to the car. Thankfully my mum had a gravel path, so no fear of slipping for me. It was bloody cold though, my breath fogging in front of me as I walked.
It was no warmer in Finn’s car, and that wasn’t only because the heater took a while to warm up. Finn seemed decidedly frosty too.
Could he be jealous?
Surely not.
It still didn’t stop me smiling as I buckled my seatbelt, and I looked out the window to hide it. It took until we’d pulled out onto the main road for Finn to bring it up.
“Who’s Sean?” he asked, voice even, but his fingers tapped on the steering wheel as we waited at the traffic lights.
I tried not to smirk.
Tried and failed.
“A friend.”
I watched out of the corner of my eye as he digested that, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth. I’d spent enough time with him to know when he was mulling something over. I waited as the silence stretched between us, wondering if he’d ask me anything else.
“Friendfriend, or...”
“We went out a few times.”
He sighed, frustrated sounding. As though I was purposefully avoiding his questions. Which I guess I was. But I liked seeing him like this. Finn never seemed to get flustered. But we’d had such a lovely afternoon and evening so far, I didn’t want to piss him off. “Yes I slept with him, we were kind of on and off before I went travelling, but it was never anything serious.”
“Is that because you were going away for a year?”
“No.” I shook my head, even though he wasn’t looking my way. “I liked him, but more as a friend than anything else. He liked to go out way too much for my tastes. We were too different for anything more.”
“Maybe he’s changed.” The edge to his voice was out of place and I changed my mind about this being fun.
“Maybe he has, but I know I definitely have. I’m not interested in picking up where we left off. That’s in the past and I’m happy for it to stay there. I wouldn’t mind keeping in touch as friends though,” I added, because Sean was a lovely bloke, just not for me. “But that’s all.”
He hummed in response, which was really no indicator of how he was feeling. I wanted to ask him outright if he was jealous since it certainly seemed that way to me. And if he was, didn’t that say something? But I held my tongue.
I’d promised him I wouldn’t ask for more, hadn’t I? Sex aside, my recollection of that night was a little hazy. I didn’t want to ruin what we had now by going back on my word and making him uncomfortable. If he wanted more, he was going to have to tell me.
Even though I’d brought it on myself, it irritated me. Irrational, I knew, but I still felt a little pissed off.
I liked him; I was sure he liked me.
So why not come out and say it?
