He wasn’t wrong, but I refused to feel guilty for that.
“That’s not the sort of father I want to be, Jasper.” He met my gaze again, and I almost didn’t recognise him in that moment. Gone was the arrogance and disappointment I was used to seeing there, replaced by a vulnerability that floored me. “I hope it’s not too late to change that.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat, not surprised to find myself blinking back tears. I felt incredibly young suddenly. This was all I’d ever wanted to hear from him, and now he was stood in front of me saying the words, but a part of me still refused to give in.
But I wanted to.
It might just take a while.
“It’s not too late,” I said, because I knew that much was true. I still loved him, despite everything. “But I can’t promise it’ll be easy.”
“Nothing worthwhile ever is.”
I rolled my eyes at how predictable that was coming from him.
“I mean it, Jasper. I know you’ll take some convincing that I’ve changed, and I don’t expect you to forgive me overnight. But I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not giving up. I want to fix this.” He held out his hand, and I found myself giving another eye-roll, because for fuck’s sake. We might have our problems, but he was still my dad, not a fucking stranger and I wasn’t about to shake his bloody hand.
I stepped close and gave him a one-armed hug instead. It was a bit awkward at first, probably because we hadn’t done it in a while and I’d taken him by surprise, but then he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me so tight I choked out a laugh.
“Can’t breathe.”
He stepped back quickly. “Sorry.”
“Coffee?” I asked. I wanted to break the tension and move this back into the living room where my mum was no doubt listening. I’d had enough deep-and-meaningfuls for one day.
For a week.
“Yeah,” my dad nodded, voice thick. “That’d be great, thanks.”
I gestured for him to go into the living room ahead of me, and I caught my mum wiping quickly at her eyes before she smiled up at me. “I’ll go put the kettle on. You sit down, Jasper.”
“I’m quite capable of making everyone a drink.”
“I know you are.” She smiled as she gently moved Angus from her lap. “But I’m your mother and I want to fuss over you, so be a good boy and let me.”
I sat down with a resigned sigh and let her get on with it. Angus took that as an invitation and settled on my thighs.
“What’s happening with work?” my dad asked, and I immediately bristled. “Have you been there long enough to get sick pay?”
“Nope.” I debated whether to elaborate or not, but we had to start somewhere if we were going to fix things. And he had to learn to accept my job. “But they said it’ll still be there when I’m able to go back.” I expected him to make some derisive comment, but instead he just nodded.
“That’s good then.”
I stared at him, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“Are you going to be okay for money until then?” he asked, and I bit back a snappy reply about it not being any of his business.
He was clearly trying, and so should I. “I’ve got some savings. I’d rather not have to dip into them, but it is what it is.” Thankfully after saving up to go travelling, I was good at putting money away in my savings account and not just spending it as soon as it landed in my bank.
Before my dad had chance to comment, my mum appeared carrying a tray with our drinks on it and a plate of biscuits, which she must’ve brought with her.
They were all my favourites.
As soon as she was settled, and the drinks were handed out, she fixed me with a look I knew meant we were about to discuss something serious.
“So,” she started, and I inwardly groaned. “I have a proposition for you.” She held up her hand when I went to speak. “Just hear me out before you say anything. And before you ask, yes, this was all my idea.”
I glanced at my dad, surprised to find him looking all fidgety. Curiosity piqued, I waved at her to continue. “Go on then.”
