Blair’s face lost its color.
There it was: the moment when Blair had to face the one thing she’d been avoiding since she’d lost the baby. How would she handle it? What would she say? They’d had conversations, but as far as Emily knew, Blair had never come up with an answer for her fans.
“I…uh. There was a family emergency that pulled me away, and I haven’t quite figured out how to get back into the swing of things without being forced to explain it.”
Julia left the eggs. “You could always just saythat.”
“She worries everyone will want a reason,” Sienna said.
Julia poured the eggs into the pan, a loud sizzle filling the silence. Then she turned around. “Mother to mother, I can guess by your body language, and what I’ve seen since you got here, what that reason might be. And I understand.”
Blair’s eyes filled with tears. “How did you know?”
“Since you’ve been here, you haven’t called anyone about your baby. Anyone with an infant would have. You haven’t doted over a little one, showing photos and telling stories, which I’m sure you would. You weren’t outwardly worried about your own fate in the storm last night. A mother with a small child to raisewould be a basket case if she had to endure that without her baby.”
A tear slipped down Blair’s cheek, and her bottom lip wobbled. “If I put it online, I’ll have to relive it. It’ll be there forever,” she explained.
Julia slid the eggs onto a platter and brought them to the table. She put her arms around Blair. “It’ll be there forever regardless. That loss will remain with you. I get it. I lost a baby a couple years before I had Winston.”
Wetness gathered along Blair’s lower lashes. “You did?”
“Yeah. It was awful. Daniel and I had tried for months, and the test was finally positive. We were so excited. We did one of those cake reveals and everything. It was pink.” Julia swallowed, compassion in her eyes. “I named her Abbey Michelle.”
A sob escaped Blair’s lips, and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand, but she couldn’t hold in the emotion.
“What was your baby’s name?” Julia asked.
“We didn’t know what we were having. We wanted to see the baby first and then decide, but we’d chosen Chase, Joseph, Callie, or Willa.” Her voice broke on the words. “We named her Willa. I’ve never told anyone her name or gender till now.” Tears streamed down Blair’s face.
She was being truthful. This was the first time she’d shared that—even her closest friends didn’t know. It was also the first time Emily had seen her really cry without hiding it. It was as if she could be vulnerable with Julia because of their shared experience.
“How did you ever try again?” Blair said. “Weren’t you afraid?”
“Terrified.” Julia put her hand on her heart. “But I’m so glad we did because I have Winston. And losing Daniel, he’s all I have of the man I love.”
Understanding visibly dawned on Blair. “Oh my goodness. You’re so right.”
“Am I?”
“Yes. I’m wasting all these perfect days being scared—days I could be moving forward, but I’m stuck in limbo because of a past I can’t change.”
“Youareallowed to grieve. It hasn’t been that long,” Julia said.
Blair nodded. “I know, but I haven’t allowed myself tolivesince I lost the baby. It’s hard to do.”
A creak in the doorframe drew their attention. Patrick had been listening. He lingered in the doorway, clean-shaven with wet hair, and then stepped into the kitchen. He glanced at Emily. Then he reached around the corner, brought in a large box fan, and plugged it into the power station. With a twist of the knob, it whirred to life.
Air gusted Emily’s way, immediately cooling her skin. Strands of hair that had escaped her makeshift bun blew into her face as Julia offered her a plate of eggs. Emily salted the dish, her tummy rumbling.
The radio squawked between Emily and the others, making them jump. Patrick crossed the kitchen and reached past them, grabbing the radio. He turned it up and went out of the room.
Julia ate quietly, their original chat dwindling.
“Is he okay?” Sienna asked, nodding toward Patrick’s exit.
“Winston scared him last night,” she said. “He scared me too, but Patrick has a harder time getting over things that make him anxious.”
Sienna nodded.
