“I’ve been up for a while,” he said. “I was looking online to see if anything was open. The boardwalk has been cleared for the public. I thought maybe we could all take a walk later.”
“Sure,” Emily said, completely disconnected.
In all honesty, she needed some fresh air. Sitting with Will felt oddly suffocating. With him next to her, she waffled between feeling sorry for herself and wondering if she was the crazy one for not accepting his apology and at least trying to move forward. A part of her felt bad for him. He seemed to be trying. Buthewas the one who’d put himself in this position. His actions had caused irrevocable changes, and she didn’t know if they could ever be what they were again. But could they be something new?
Maybe it would be worth working through her feelings and spending some time with him to see if she could get a handle on things.
TWENTY-SEVEN
“Ready?” Sienna said, gathering everyone and ushering them outside the house so she could lock up.
Blair hooked her arm with Rocko’s and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Tyson followed Sienna outside, telling her something in her ear that made her laugh. Emily went down the staircase and stood self-consciously next to Will. Sienna secured the house, and they all made their way off the pristine property to the boardwalk entrance down the road.
The air was heavy with salt and the scent of damp earth. The path to the boardwalk still bore the beating from the wind and water. Emily treaded carefully over scattered palm fronds and clumps of seaweed that had made it too far inland for the tide to return them to the Gulf. Will tried to help her, but—instinctively—she took a step away from him to manage on her own.
Some beachside cottages down the road still had boarded up windows, some with handwritten signs on them reading “Made it through another one!” or “Back soon.” Along the dunes, broken fencing leaned at haphazard angles, whole sections partially swallowed by sand, while crews pounded in new slats.
They all stepped onto the walk that led around the edge of the town, paralleling the water. The boardwalk itself—that Emily had seen humming with music, vacationers, and the buzz of excitement when they’d first arrived—was quieter now, punctuated only by the creak of loose planks and the occasional hammer from someone doing repairs down the road. A few vendors had reopened their shops with limited offerings. Coolers were propped open with free water bottles. And yet, despite the mess, something about the light felt softer, as if the storm had rinsed it all clean. Emily couldn’t help but draw a parallel between her time here and how she, too, felt washed, changed in some way.
Rocko turned around and walked backward, facing the group, casting his wide shadow onto the wood in front of them. “Was the storm terrifying this close to the shore?”
“We were cocooned inland,” Blair replied, shielding her eyes to view two seagulls as they squawked overhead. “Luckily, we didn’t have to endure too much.”
“Remember that storm where we were stuck in the car?” Will asked Emily. “We were locked out, and we had to wait until it passed because the rain was coming down so hard we couldn’t see to drive anywhere?”
A pang of nostalgia overtook her. They were so young then. Sitting in that car with him, she’d had no idea what heartbreak he’d bring her.
“Yeah,” she replied. She turned into the wind, facing the Gulf to fight the prick of tears that had come out of nowhere, the last remnants of her grief still emptying out. The waves were calm now, barely lapping the shore.
They’d laughed until their sides hurt in the car that night, as the rain pelted down. Soaking wet and naïve, they’d had their whole lives ahead of them. Now, as she walked next to Will, she didn’t feel the lightness of the memory. He was trying to draw connections to better times, but his actions fell flat. The memorydidn’t hit the same way. It felt as if something was missing between them that she couldn’t get back.
“I love who we were,” she said, verbalizing the thought. “I don’t think we’re who we used to be anymore, though.”
While she didn’t have herself completely figured out, something was becoming increasingly clear in the mixture of emotions she’d been feeling: Will belonged to a version of herself that no longer existed entirely, someone she wasn’t sure she could ever be again. And while the old her remained, it was now clear that it had been diluted by her new experiences. She wasn’t the same person anymore.
He didn’t talk after that. Sienna and Tyson filled the silence with chatter about the best vacation investment homes and how, if they ever took the plunge, they’d have to stormproof their investment, and Rocko and Blair stopped along the beach to build a sandcastle. The whole time, Will was contemplative, quiet. Emily didn’t try to facilitate conversation. Truly, she didn’t know what to say to him anymore.
They continued walking, and in the distance, the whine of a lone drill caught her attention. A boat slip was being repaired. Emily squinted at the guy working, his build familiar. As they got closer, she realized it was Patrick, sprawled across the top, shirtless, now pounding in something at an odd incline. Something stirred in her. She quickly assessed her companions, but no one had noticed him. He didn’t stand out for them the way he did for her.
“Hey, look. The ice-cream shop is open,” Sienna said. “We should get some to eat on the way back.”
The others agreed.
They stopped outside the door to view the menus, all of them focused on the task at hand, but Emily was in her own world with Patrick in her peripheral vision. In this collection of couples, she didn’t belong anymore. She was still their friend,but no longer able to pair off seamlessly. She felt out of place. Almost as if she were in thewrongplace. She’d rather be over there, talking to Patrick.
Will held the door open, and they filed into the tiny space. They all got in line, Emily hanging back near the door, mindlessly taking each step, her attention elsewhere. Rocko, Tyson, and Will went up to the counter, Sienna following behind, and then Blair.
“I think I’m going to stay out for a while,” Emily said to Blair.
Blair’s brows pulled together and her lips parted to say something, but Emily cut her off.
“I’ll catch up,” she whispered. Then she slipped out the door once more, before anyone could protest.
She paced quickly down the boardwalk until she was out of view of the shop. Then she slowed, taking in the sunshine and generally enjoying shedding the burden of Will. She walked over to Patrick. “Whatcha doing?” she called up.
He stopped pounding and peered down at her, that crooked grin surfacing, sending a fizzle of excitement through her.
“Oh, just, you know, hanging around.”
