“Don’t be so sure,” he said. “Her parents died when she was a teen and her uncle raised her, shielding her from her family in America. There were reasons for it and she’s reconnected with them, but not her grandfather. Just her aunt and cousins. I asked because she’d be one to understand more.”
“Oh. I hadn’t known that. Not that it would come up. It’s not like I talked about my situation with my father. We only discussed how it was working for Eli. I wish I knew that beforehand.”
“It’s better you found out this way,” he said, reaching for her hand. “Did it make you feel better about things?”
“Not really. Not that I’m feeling horrible. I don’t know what I’m feeling there. Nothing bad. It was a great day. It really was and I’m sorry I was a wuss earlier on. I felt as if I’ve gotten past those insecurities in my life, and then bam, there it is and it embarrassed me.”
“Don’t be embarrassed.” His thumb grazed the top of her hand. “We all have those days.”
“Not you.”
“Don’t be so sure.” He hesitated a moment. “Can we talk some?”
She turned her head, her smile disappearing, some wariness in her eyes. “I thought we were.”
“We are. I’d just like to find out more about you and your past relationships. You asked about mine before and I said it wasn’t the time to talk about it, but if I want you to talk, then I should do the same.”
“Yes, you should.”
“I will, if you’ll go first. I just want to gather things if I can.”
She scooted over on the couch, put her legs under her hips and laid her head on his chest, his hand coming out to brush her light brown hair from her face. It had a bit of a curl to it from the wind’s fingers licking its way through. He liked her tumbled this way, but he was positive she’d disagree.
“Not a lot to say. I’ve dated. Had two what I consider serious or long-term relationships. The last one was over two years ago.”
“What happened there? How long was it and why did it end?”
She sighed. “I still feel bad about this, but I’m not sure what I did. Or maybe I feel guilty.”
That didn’t sound good. “Why would you say that?”
“Jordan was a nice guy. Don’t get me wrong. Kind of on the scholarly side. He was a branch manager at a credit union. It’s a small area and I used the bank. It’s how we met.”
“Hey, whatever works. I didn’t think you’d be the type to use dating apps.”
“No. Never. I’m too nervous for something like that. Have you?”
“Not at all,” he said firmly. “I’d never do that. Just can’t trust who is on there.”
“That was always my feeling. So Jordan and I started to date. I was still in my awkward stage.”
“What is that? There isn’t anything awkward about you.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek and she snuggled into him some more.
“You know a different person. Or so Jordan would say. And that happened. I was about thirty pounds overweight. I just didn’t feel comfortable in my skin. No one would look at me and say I was obese or anything, but years of things my father said wouldn’t leave my mind. Jordan didn’t like to do anything active. He liked to go out to dinner and I think that made it worse.”
“You don’t seem like the sitting-around type.”
“I never knew that I wasn’t. It’s all I ever did. Sit around and read, watching TV, grab some pre-made food or order out if my mother wasn’t cooking. I still lived at home, though Jordan had his own place.”
He frowned. “You didn’t want to move in with him?”
“He never asked and I wasn’t going to bring it up. I’d stay there, but I always felt as if he liked his space and didn’t want to share it more than a few nights a month.”
“A month?!” Jesus, he’d like her at his place a few times a week. He already got her here Friday and Saturday, but during the week would be nice too.
“Yeah. I could have or should have moved out by then, but I had my space at my mother’s house. I was putting money away. It’s not like we didn’t get along. I don’t know, it was just nice being with the one person who’d always been there for me.”
And when her mother left, that was when Nora felt she had to make the biggest change—or take the biggest chance—of her life.
