— Nothing happened. I just realized we’re making things unnecessarily complicated. We’re professionals. We should act like it.
— Professionals, he repeats slowly. That’s all we are to you? After everything?
The hurt in his voice nearly breaks me—but Malcolm’s words echo in my mind.
His future is at stake.
— That’s all we should have been, I say, forcing my voice to stay steady. The lines got blurred—and that’s on me. I should’ve been clearer about the limits of our arrangement.
— Limits, he repeats, disbelief creeping in. Keira, earlier, in the warehouse?—
— It was a mistake, I cut in. I got carried away. It won’t happen again.
I can feel his gaze on me, searching, trying to understand this sudden shift.
— I don’t believe you, he says finally. Something happened. My father said something to you, didn’t he?
My heart stutters.
Is it that obvious?
— Your father has nothing to do with this, I deflect. This is my decision.
— Look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing for me, he says. That all of it was fake.
I gather every ounce of strength I have and turn to face him, meeting his gaze.
— I don’t feel anything beyond respect… and a kind of friendship, Alistair.
Each word feels like a blade carving into my own chest.
— Our arrangement was purely professional. And it’s time to end it before things get more complicated than they already are.
I see the exact moment something breaks inside him. A light in his eyes goes out, replaced by a coldness I’ve never seen before.
— I see, he says, voice flat. Then consider our arrangement over.
He starts the car again, and the rest of the drive passes in icy silence.
When we reach the castle, I murmur a quick thank you and get out as fast as I can.
It’s only once I’m alone in my room, the door closed behind me, that I finally fall apart. The tears I’ve held back all evening spill freely as I collapse onto the bed.
I did the right thing.
For him. For his future.
So why does it hurt this much?
In my head, I can almost hear Hamish bleating in disapproval. Even a sheep would know I just made the biggest mistake of my life.
CHAPITRE 26
ALISTAIR
Fragments of the Past
There are a lot of ways to handle a breakup. Some people drown their sorrow in alcohol. Others throw themselves into meaningless flings. The more creative ones write tear-soaked songs or poetry they’ll regret later.