I hardly recognize myself with all the makeup and my hair spilling over my shoulders in tight spirals. No wig. No glasses. No pink uniform. The woman looking back at me looks like someone I used to know, but more confident.
Sad, but confident.
Also, comfortable.
Instead of a tight, clingy dress that would require more Spanx than I’m willing to wear anymore, I opted for a navy sequin halter top under a light blazer paired with jeans. A littlecasual for a late-night show, but I’m Aussie. We’re born to be casual.
Nicole Kidman being the exception.
The jeans and top hug me in a way clothes never have between surfing professionally then being on a perpetual diet as an actress. When I quit Hollywood, I quit the strict, regimented eating too, and I like the way I look. I’ve already vowed not to take any parts that require me to be too skinny and hungry all the time.
“You look amazing,” Sarah says. “And I know I’m supposed to play it cool here, but I’m so excited you’re back, Frankie.”
I smile into the mirror. “Me, too.”
Mostly.
After leaving the Holloways, I went straight to Archie’s. I wasn’t ready to go back to Dad’s house and have him not be there. Besides, that house never felt like home. Archie’s place doesn’t feel like home either, but it’s temporary until I find the place that does.
I thought it might be with Cal and Junie, but I have to let go of that idea. I’m sure the ache in my chest will subside, eventually.
“You can do this. Lila will go easy on you,” Sarah says while giving my face one more pass with the bronzer brush.
“I hope so.” I mutter, trying not to move until she’s done with my face.
But when I close my eyes, this morning’s headline about my “quickie” marriage to the reporter who dragged my dad appears. I know I’m going to get questions I don’t want to answer—if not from Lila then from the reporters waiting outside for me to leave.
I suspect Brandon leaked the news. I thought about canceling this appearance when I saw the story, but I’m done running and I’m done hiding. Not only from my mistakes, butalso from people who want to drag me for making them, as though I’m not allowed to be human just because I’m famous.
An assistant sticks her head in the door to tell me it’s time, so I do a last fit check, then follow her backstage. I wait in the wings while the host talks with Alison Fisher who’s been scheduled for months to appear but invited me last minute to join her in order to announce my role in Frederica.
My stomach twists with excitement. I haven’t been this nervous since my first day onSurf City High.
“I hear you have a surprise for us. A big one.” the host says to Alison, which is my cue to begin my walk onto set. “You want to give us any hints?”
“I do,” Alison says in her cool, collected way. “I’ve brought along the actor who will be playing the lead inFrederica.”
“Oh! That is exciting! Anyone we know?”
“You know her well, you just haven’t seen her in a while.”
“Oh, intriguing. Any more hints?” Lila says as I step on set just out of view of the camera.
An audience member sees me and gasps loud enough for the people around her to follow the finger she has pointed in my direction.
“How about we just bring her on stage.” Alison grins and motions me on set. “Frankie, you want to come out here?”
More delighted gasps come from the crowd and that’s all I need to step into the limelight again in higher heels than I’ve worn in three years. Somehow, I don’t fall. The audience’s cheers buoy me, and I ride their excitement like a perfect, barreling wave.
Signs flash, telling them to applaud, but nothing is urging them to stand and scream, “We love you, Frankie!”
I wave with both hands and blow kisses as I make my way to the host’s desk. Their love isn’t real. It’s fleeting. But I’m happy to be back anyway, becausemovies matter. Stories matter. Art matters. All of it makes life more beautiful. And I 'm lucky to be a part of that.
Lila and Alison both hug me, then Alison takes the seat further from him in order to leave the spotlight for me. The crowd keeps clapping and cheering until Lila motions for them to stop.
“I think they’re excited to see you.” Her genuine smile slows the pounding behind my ribs.
“I’m excited to see them.” My voice cracks.
