“Nothing to be sorry about. It is what it is.” I squeeze the words out fast but not before my voice cracks.
“You need another hug?” Cal opens his arms and moves toward me.
I shake my head and step back. “I’m good, mate. Cheers.”
Cal blinks with surprise. I walk past him in the direction of the house.
The only way me staying at the Holloways will work is if I keep clear boundaries between all of us. Hugs, touching, teasing…all of it leads to attachment. And attachment leads to hurt.
Cal and Junie have had too much of that.
Chapter 15
Frankie
The ride into town is quiet. Too quiet. Not the comfortable quiet between friends, and I wish I would have taken Cal’s hug. Who knows when I’ll get another one, not just from him but from anyone.
I’ve lived in Serenity Cove for three years, but the past twenty-four hours are the first I’ve really felt like I’m home here. Honestly, it may be the first time I’ve felt at home since before my parents divorced.
That’s a scary thought.
I’ve learned the hard way, home can’t be with other people, or even a place. It’s gotta be where and howyoumake it. That way there’s no risk of someone taking it from you.
That’s why I feel at home on a stage. Always have, whether that stage was a wave or a set. I could be Frankie the competitive surfer or Paige the high school surfer with the boyfriend who’d play guitar and sing ballads to her around a fire on the beach. Or a nurse or a struggling journalist or the supportive bridesmaid who’s secretly in love with the groom.
I slipped into each of those parts more naturally than I’dever felt playing the part of Francesca Forsythe, daughter of billionaire Malcolm Forsythe. My parents’ divorce and Mum’s quick remarriage made it easy to find home somewhere besides with either of them. Malcolm had a new girlfriend, and Mum had a new husband, then a new baby.
‘Course it took me years in therapy to work all that out.
About the time I finally understood why I love the stage, my life imploded. I ran from every home I had—my family, my friends, my husband, and my career. I don’t regret running from my family—Archie being the exception—or my husband. But I haven’t stopped missing my friends and my career. They were home, and I left them. My regrets run deep about that.
I glance at Cal who’s tapping his thumb on the steering wheel, his brow furrowed deep with thought. He’s been like that since we got in his truck. Hasn’t said a word, and I’m worried I put that look on his face, but I’m not sure how.
“Sorry I lost it with Junie,” I say. “I was in the middle of a text with Archie. That’s what set me off, not her.”
He looks at me and blinks until understanding dawns. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
“So that’s not what’s on your mind? Because you seem a bit put out, if I’m being honest—which, you know, we agreed to be…”
That pulls a smile from him. “I’m not mad. Just thinking…worrying, actually.”
“About?”
He drops his head and sighs. “Junie on the ATV. I worry when she’s in any kind of vehicle without me, and then I worry I’ll never stop worrying about that, and what happens when she’s a teenager wanting her driver’s license?”
“You’ve got a proper list of worries, Cal.” I try to hold back a laugh, but it slips out. “I’m sorry. It’s not funny. I’m justpicturing sixteen-year-old Junie prying the car keys from your hand and saying she can ‘Do it by myself, Daddy!’”
The corner of Cal’s mouth tugs. “You can laugh. I know it’s ridiculous.”
“It’s not ridiculous at all. You could have lost her. Of course you want to keep that from happening again.” I want to reach for his hand, but I stop myself and hope my words are comfort enough.
“She reminds me so much of Kayla. She was a risk-taker, always doing something before thinking about it. She was speeding and ran a light. That’s why she got hit.” He scoffs and shakes his head. “Bennett will take care of Junie. He’s not going to let anything happen to her. They’re only going from the grove up to the house. But I have this scenario running in my head of her grabbing the handles, running off the road, and flipping the thing. I want her to be independent, but I also want to make sure nothing ever happens to her. And I worry I’ll stifle her if I don’t figure out how to quit worrying.”
My laugh escapes in a gentle puff. “So basically, you just worry all the time.”
Cal laughs too. “Okay. Yeah. Pretty much.”
“Did you always worry like that? Before Junie, before Kayla?”
