I don’t know what time it is when I fall asleep, but everything is the hazy gray of early morning when a loud crash startles me awake, followed by Junie yelling, “Daddy!”
I grab a robe and throw it on over my briefs as I run to her room. Muffled cries come from her closet where I find her on the floor, buried underneath clothes and hangers that have come down with the rod that had been holding them.
I lift the rod—most of the clothes are still on the hangers hooked to the rod—and anchor it back into its slots, then squat down to pull Junie to her feet and into my arms. “What happened?”
“I needed my ladybug jacket!” She says in a staggered cry.
I sus out right away that she’s climbed the shelves in the closet to try and reach the jacket. The sweaters that were stacked neatly on them have been tossed on the floor.
“Are you okay?”
She nods then grins madly like nothing’s happened. “I dressed all by self!”
I sit back on my heels to look at her. “Yes you did! What a big girl!”
Her dress is on backwards and inside out, but this is the first time she’s dressed herself without a lot of nagging and bribing. It’s a “skill” we’ve been working on with mixed results.
“I ready for pancakes, Daddy.” She tugs me to stand, then pulls me toward her doorway.
“Okay. Let me get dressed, then I’ll make your pancakes.” I drop her hand and turn the opposite direction from the kitchen to go back to my room.
“No. I want Frankie’s pancakes.”
I stop. I’d forgotten Mom left me the job of breaking the bad news to Junie. I squat in front of her and deliver the blow. “Frankie’s not here, sweetie.”
Her face falls but quickly recovers, giving me a second of relief. “That’s okay. We go to Fingo’s and see her.”
Relief?
Gone.
I take a deep breath. “Frankie’s not going to be at Flamingo’s anymore, Bug. She had to go home.”
Junie’s brow V’s. “But she lives here with us.”
I shake my head slowly. “No. She was just visiting.”
The V deepens. “Can we visit her?”
I shake my head again. “I don’t think so, I’m sorry.”
“How come? She doesn’t like me anymore?” Her lip wobbles, and so do my knees.
I thought I was prepared for this.
I. Was. Not.
I scoop her into my arms. “No, Bug. That’s not it. Frankie is your friend. She just had to go home. That’s all.”
“To her daddy?”
I close my eyes. “Yeah. She had to go see her daddy.”
Junie’s not wrong. I just wish it was as simple as that.
“But when does she come back home with us?” A tear slips out of the corner of her eye.
I wanted certainty from Frankie to protect Junie. I should have known it would backfire. I couldn’t have predicted the place she’d find in our hearts any more than she could predictherfuture. But I should have predicted the hurt it would cause to cut her out of our hearts.
