I don’t know if he’s expecting me to feel some regret, even some shame over not telling him I was marrying Brandon until it was done. Or not telling him my new husband planned to expose Malcolm’s lies—not just about the eco resort, but about all of his businesses. Not telling him when I left Brandon, or when I left L.A., or where I’ve been for the past three years.
My list of secrets may be long, but he’s got a list just as long—if not longer—that goes way back before this cancer.
Then his face softens—or at least softens as much as the cancer will allow. He’s lost enough weight that his once striking cheekbones are now sharp angles that leave the rest of his face hollow.
“I’m not here to argue. I’m here to repair.” He looks at us with piercing blue eyes. “Everything I’ve built was to secure the Forsythe future. To secure your future. Because of me, you’ll have enough wealth to live in luxury, no matter what happens. Your children and your children’s children and their children will enjoy the same wealth you have, and the Forsythe name will go down in history.”
I lift my eyebrows. After three years of scraping by because Dad cut me off when I didn’t do what he wanted, I'm more than intrigued by the idea of being wealthy again, but I brace myself for the strings that will be attached. Because there are always strings.
Then Archie sits taller. “Dad, we never asked you for any of that. Money was never what we wanted or needed most from you.”
I stare at my brother who’s always had a harder timestanding up to our dad than I have. I barely hold back mygood on ya’.
Malcolm’s eyes narrow. “If you’re talking about love, son, then you’re not recognizing that’s what this is. Everything I’ve done—everything I’ve built—has been out of love. All I asked for in return was that you be part of what I’ve built. That you show some respect for my work. Instead, I got shut out of your lives.”
His face is stone and his voice is just as cold and hard. What I’ve long suspected about him suddenly becomes clear. He’s afraid of getting hurt, too. The walls I put up to protect myself, my need to run away from pain, my instinct to hide…I reckon I learned all that from Malcolm.
“We’ve always respected you,” I say slowly. “Wanting to live our own lives was never about disrespect; it was about being our own people, making our own choices.”
Malcolm answers by listing all the ways I’ve fallen short when I’ve made my own choices. How I humiliated him by running off with a nobody like Brandon when he had a match for me; someone I could have been happy with if I’d kept dating him instead of sneaking off with a lousy reporter.
I only half listen. I’m too in my head, piecing together bits of Malcolm I’ve never seen before. They’ve always been there, I was just blind to them.
“All of that would have been disrespectful enough, but then you used your husband to extort money from me,” he finishes with more emotion than I’ve ever heard from him before.
“What?” I look from the fury on Malcolm’s face to Archie, but all I find there is confusion.
“The millions you asked for to not publish anything else about me. As if you didn’t have access to billions as my daughter.”Spittle flies from Malcolm’s mouth, and he uses a handkerchief to wipe it away.
“Dad…you’ve got it all wrong. I had no idea Brandon had asked you for money. When I found out, I left him. I’d never be part of extorting money from you,” I speak slowly, watching the fury drain from Malcolm’s face.
“That’s not what he said. You told him everything about me and would keep talking until I gave you the money that was rightfully yours.” His voice is hard, but without anger.
I shake my head. “He lied. I told him the truth about Rancho Mirage and corroborated facts he had about you, but I did it to stop you, not for money. And I asked him not to publish anything until I’d talked to you first. I hoped we could work things out.” I draw my eyes to Malcolm’s and see a softening there. “Brandon published before I could talk to you, and everything fell apart.”
Malcolm blinks, then wipes his mouth again. “I only gave back what I thought you’d given me.”
There’s no apology in his words, but I hear it in his voice. Something else clicks into place with them. After so many years of conflict, I finally understand him.
Everything for Malcolm—business, family, love—it’s all transactional. Nothing is given freely. Whatever he invests in, he expects a greater return on his investment. He evaluates every relationship the same way he does a business or stock. What is its ROI? It’s not enough to get back what he puts in. He wants more.
And I feel sorry for him. What a terrible way to live.
Love is nothing like money. There’s no hard data to determine whether loving someone will pay off the way you hope it will. You have to trust that the more love you give, the more you get back.
Loving someone also means getting hurt.
Malcolm’s taught me that lesson better than anyone.
And he’ll keep teaching me that lesson unless I decide to love him, no matter the outcome. If I’m going to have any relationship with him, it will have to be one that’s transactional. At least on his part.
Because the truth is, cutting him out of my life didn’t work. I wasn’t happier because of it. I gave up acting, something I loved. I left behind Archie, Rhys, and Dex, the people I loved most. And in getting me back here, into his life, I’ve had to leave behind people I was just starting to love.
The thing Jo said at the picnic my first night at the Holloways comes back to me.No family is perfect. Love your people where they are.
I think I understand what she meant.
“Malcolm…Dad,” I say carefully. “Do you want us to be part of your life again?”
