15
Impossible to ignore
ZARA
The world is off-kilter, and yet the earth beneath me is solid. I can’t find my footing despite hours of walking and I haven’t shaken off the sensation I’ve just narrowly avoided a fate worse than I dared imagine. Kade’s hands were there, steadying me, keeping me from being torn apart by my own magic as it ripped through me. Cold sweat prickles my skin as I realize I’m unreasonably grateful and the warlock saved me. He could have let me come to harm, but he didn’t, even though it could have solved his problem for him.
I’ve known him long enough to be suspicious and question whether he was truly chivalrous. But in the wake of what happened, there’s only the quiet hum that sings between us and the longing, soul-searching looks he sends my way. The forest is cold and unforgiving and a strange warmth lingers, and I’m sure his touch has left it.
I convince myself the blood weave made him act and that Kade is another asshole who happens to be a good fuck. Anexceptionally good fuck who’s exceptionally well-endowed.
I should be horrified that he was on top of me. I should loathe the idea that he might think I’m indebted to him. But I’m neither and all my mind can focus on is the way his cock makes me come undone. I’ve given up trying to lie to myself and I can’t fool myself into believing I’m anything other than in its thrall.
Kade is as silent as I am, and I wonder what he’s thinking. I don’t doubt he noticed how my body reacted to his, how my hands sought reassurance from him. I lift my eyes to the heavens and pray he hasn’t realized that for a split second, I felt safer than I’ve ever been, trapped underneath his solid and unyielding body.
He murmurs that I need to learn control and I grunt a response.
But he’s stirring something inside me and it’s curiosity. It’s crazy to want this, but I do, and the novelty of learning to focus my power and wield it with more control has me on edge. I want to try, more than I wanted to try for him, and I can’t stop thinking that I’ll be able to set the world on fire once I master it.
The air is thick with tension, even heavier than before. I glance at Kade, his gaze sharp and focused. He strides ahead and my eyes track him as he emerges into a clearing and heads straight for its center.
“This will do.” He turns and I creep toward him, far from certain about this. “Are you ready?”
I nod and my body screams it’s anything but ready. I’m already second-guessing myself, and a torrent of memories floods through me. I close my eyes and fight back my tears as I remember the lessons from Aleris and Ysolde, and even the High Mother.
“This isn’t the time for sentiment.”
The bond hums, and it’s like a current between us,pushing and pulling. It’s already a distraction and I can’t ignore it much longer, but I’m going to have to learn to. For both our sakes.
“We’ll start simple,” Kade continues. “Focus on your breathing. Slow. Controlled. Draw in power, and whatever you do, don’t force it. Just let it settle in your core, let it find its way to you.”
I inhale and close my eyes, trying to stay calm. But there’s magic swirling inside me and it’s growing restless, increasingly eager to explode. My fingers shake as its hum grows and I begin to feel something more flooding through me. The vibrations pulse at a familiar frequency and the blood weave rises, reminding me of its neverending hold.
Fingers splay over my stomach and Kade presses his chest against my back. His breath licks over my neck and my next breath stutters out, my body unsure how to respond now that he’s near.
“Hold your center,” Kade says, his voice softer now, almost like he’s trying to be delicate. “Find and keep your peace, Zara.”
I draw another breath, deeper this time, but it’s hard to stay focused. My chest tightens and my breathing hitches as Kade’s proximity floods my senses. His chest rests on my back and I can’t stop the way my heart pounds, or stop myself from feeling the beat of his heart as it pounds against his thorax. I should pull away, I should fight against him, but I don’t.
Instead, I stay, letting the tension roll through me.
Letting the bond between us tighten.
“Good girl,” Kade whispers, his voice so close it sends a shiver through me. “Don’t allow the chaos to move you. Don’t let it dictate what you do. This power is yours, Zara. You control it. You direct its flow. You decide the path it takes as it flows from you like the water in a river.”
His words float around me, but they seem so far away now. They’re drifting past me and I let them carry me with them and I bask in their warmth as if I were swimming in a warm summer sea. Their currents shift with the magic moving through me and the gentle swell of the ocean rises and falls inside me, surging forward like a tide racing towards the rocks on the beach.
Kade’s arms come around my waist again, and his movements are seamless. He’s done this a thousand times before and I stiffen under his touch, but he won’t release me and he doesn’t back away. His hands press onto my stomach and for a moment the noises roaring through my head quieten and I catch a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
The warmth of his hands spreads through me, grounding me in a way I didn’t expect. The chaos within me still roars, but for a heartbeat, it’s softened and the world shifts just enough for me to catch my breath. The rhythm of his heartbeat echoes against my back, steady and unyielding, and I can’t help but let myself relax into him, just for a moment. I don’t pull away. My muscles slowly uncoil, the tension ebbing as his hands press against me.
“Focus, Zara,” Kade’s voice rumbles softly in my ear, his breath warm against the side of my neck. “Feel the energy. Let it flow, but keep your center. You don’t let it run wild.” His hands shift lower, finding their place, guiding the energy with a purpose.
My chest rises and falls with each breath, and for the first time, it feels like I can almost hear the magic inside me rather than feel it trying to escape. It’s not just a force anymore, a wild thing thrashing to break free. With Kade’s hands on me, it’s a current, a river, and I am the dam holding it back.
Kade’s voice is still there, a whisper against my ear, grounding me as much as his touch. “Good. Don’t fight it. Let it rise, but keep your focus. Direct it.”
The power surges again, and this time, I don’t panic. I stay in the moment, channeling the energy inside me instead of letting it overrun me. The storm waves aren’t as terrifying anymore and the magic is nothing more than a force I can control. One I can direct. One that belongs to me.
