16
Broken beyond recognition
KADE
Iknew she’d look at me like this. I knew those emerald eyes I’m obsessed with would flood with hate and loathing, and I knew they’d make me feel wretched and unclean. I’d have done anything to spare myself this, but the blood weave twisted through me, and its pain was unbearable.
The bond between us demanded I tell Zara what she wanted to know, and even I couldn’t resist the force of its insistence. But now, as she stares at me like I’m the monster she always suspected I was, I’m sure that giving in to the blood weave was a mistake.
Her silence is worse than any insult she’s hurled at me. It cuts deeper, festering under my skin like poison. I hate her for making me feel this way, for peeling back the layers I’ve kept tightly wound and forcing me to look at what’s underneath.
But more than that, I hate myself.
The little witch has gotten under my skin and her clawswon’t let me go. Their prick is sharper than any knife and I’m bleeding as surely as if she’d wounded me, and I find myself unusually unsure about who and what I am.
My magic flows through me, searing hot and relentless. Its chaos rips through my veins and it shapes me into something stronger than human. I relish its pain, delight in its strength, and revel in its thrall.
Just as I culled anyone who dared to defy me, laughing as their bodies fell, one after another.
They burned so beautifully.
Witches screamed their requiems as their magic betrayed them, turning inward to devour them alive. It was glorious, poetic even. Some fought and a few begged, but most collapsed as their energy was stolen from them before they even realized what was happening. I enjoyed the smell of their charred flesh and the scorched earth, thick and cloying, letting it cling to me like a second skin.
It was righteous. Necessary. The fire I brought cleansed the world and protected the order essential to maintaining the balance. It was pure and malevolent, violent and sacred, almost a duty more than a pleasure—and now she’s tainted the memory of everything I’ve done. Of everything I am.
The ghosts I’ve ignored for years return to haunt me, summoned by the tiny little witch walking beside me in silence. Zara refused to speak to me since I called her bullshit out and I can’t take the sound of her quiet condemnation any longer.
“Say something,” I snap.
My jaw ticks and I immediately regret my weakness. Showing her any sign of remorse will only encourage her. She’ll know how to hurt me and the girl won’t hesitate to use the leverage to get whatever the fuck it is she wants.
Zara doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t blink. Just keeps looking at melike I’m not a man, but a nightmare she’s only just begun to comprehend.
Her heart is as blackened as mine.
Her cruelty is just as vicious, just as relentless. Just as insatiable.
“I know,” she whispers in a voice so quiet that I wonder if I heard it. “I know, Kade.”
There’s no forgiveness in her tone, no pity either. It’s just a simple acknowledgment that I’m as evil as I claim to be and that she knows it because she recognizes herself in me. We’re as immoral as each other and the irony of us isn’t lost on me, nor is the fact that we could have been made for each other if we weren’t so completely incompatible.
“You don’t know anything,” I growl, my words low and dangerous.
Zara’s lips twitch and they don’t form a smile, but it’s close enough that it makes my blood boil. She tilts her head and her silver hair floats over her shoulder while those damn emerald eyes glitters with an emotion far darker than disgust.
“Don’t I?” she asks. “I’ve taken more lives than I care to count and made choices that have left me drenched in blood. I know what it’s like to tell yourself it’s necessary to justify your carnage, because lying is easier than admitting to the truth.”
My chest tightens. “Which is?”
“That you wanted it,” she hisses, her voice cracking like a whip. “More than that, Kade. That you liked it.”
“And what about you, Zara?” I spit, stepping closer. Her shoulders stiffen, but she doesn’t back away. “How much did you want it when you killed for your coven? When you tore apart anyone who stood in your way?”
Her silence speaks volumes, and the air between us grows heavier, crackling with the weight of more unspoken truthsneither of us is willing to admit. I watch her movements, looking for any sign she’s lying and even the subtle magic I’m using on her can’t find the slightest hint of deviousness in the witch.
“You’ve spilled as much blood as I have.” My voice turns into a rough growl. “Don’t you dare look at me like you’re fucking better than me.”
“I don’t.” Zara takes a step closer, and I want to silence her by claiming her mouth. “I’m worse, precious. I’d do it all again, Kade. Every. Last. Kill. Every. Single. One.”
