But there was nothing but a steady thump.
Even so, she looked understandably overwhelmed. Slowly, she peeled my hand off her chest, but didn’t let it go. Like she wanted the connection as much as I did.
“Be that as it may,” she said slowly, “you’re still avoiding the question. What doyouget out of this?”
“Other than getting to be with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever fucking seen?”
Laney tipped her head. “You are so full of shit.”
I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help myself. “Maybe, but I stand by the superlative.”
She shoved my shoulder, though I didn’t move. “Just be honest. What is it you want?”
Tell. Her.
Every bone in my body vibrated with the need to be honest. Laney Fisher was a straight shooter. She would understand why I needed to get married. What was at stake.
But I was a coward.
So, I gave what truth I could. “I get to be with the first person I’ve ever met who makes me feel like I’m more.”
“More how?” Her brow arched again. She looked at me like that when I confused her, I decided. Or maybe when she knew I was hiding something.
Perceptive little thing.
“More like I’m not just a fucking joke.” I finally stepped back, then sat back on the bed, balancing my elbows on my knees as I spoke. “If you looked me up, you know I’m the third of four kids, and the youngest of three brothers. We all have our roles to play. Brendan, the oldest, is the serious one. He was also the default heir until just recently.”
“When he left the company, right?”
She had moved to sit next to me on the bed. I glanced at her. Shehaddone her research. I didn’t know why I was surprised. The woman was a trained academic.
“Yeah. Anyway, Owen, the next in line, is just as serious, even if he is hotheaded. Me, I’m smarter than them both, but everyone underestimates me because I’m the loose cannon. They think I can’t take anything seriously. And maybe they’re right in some ways. But not always.”
I shook my head, like I was trying to sort something out for myself and for her at the same time.
“Did you know that last year, I ran the entire tech division at Blackguard, and we had the highest profit margins of the entire fucking company. The year before that, I made some changes in the pharmaceutical sector, and we nearly tripled its productivity.”
Laney shook her head. No, she hadn’t researched that. And why would she have?
“I’m finally starting to convince them I can do more. And then Brendan nominated me for his job when he left,” I went on. “But if I go home and tell them what happened in Vegas, it will just confirm everything they think of me. And I’ll forever be the family joke. I just… I don’t want that, Laney. Divorce is one thing. But a joke marriage that ends a week after it happens? That I can’t have.”
“So, what, you want to be married to prove you, what, can?”
“Marriages have started with less that we have now.” I smirked. “We’ll pretend we’re Greek nobility. Arrangements were common. We just betrothed ourselves.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“No, it’s pragmatic. We both have needs that can be served by a significant other. We’ll meet those needs until they aren’t needs anymore, and then we’ll part ways. You’re attracted to me, right?”
“I—well, yes.” She looked between our mutually semi-undressed states and the disheveled bedclothes. “Obviously.”
“I thought so. And if it’s not clear, I think you’re a fucking smoke show. Why not see if there’s something more here? And in the meantime, we can do everything else. Be married. Show up for each other. I like you. I think you like me too.”
“Well, that’s beside the point.”
“It’s never beside the point, Ari.”
“Ronan…”
