“I wanted to strangle her on six different occasions in our ten-minute drive.”
His irritated eyes and grimace make me laugh. “She isn’t that bad.”
“I think I have a ruptured eardrum. Does she know she sounds like a dying cat when she sings? If you can even call it that.”
“Hey! I can hear you!” Cole comes in empty-handed.
“I’m aware,” he growls and then walks out the door.
“God, what crawled up his ass and died? He is so grumpy,” she says as she flops down onto Ev’s large leather couch.
“Gage is an acquired taste, but once you earn his love, he is like no one else. He’s just…been through a lot.”
“Yeah, so have you and you’re not a dick.”
“What's a dick?” Rune walks up next to me. He is so quiet sometimes, like a sneaky little mouse.
“Jesus help me.” I cover my eyes and shake my head.
“It’s another word for your penis, buddy.” Ev walks in with a box in hand, setting it down. He looks at me proudly like he just saved the day.
“What's a penis?” Rune is looking like we just placed a sudoku puzzle in front of him.
“Seriously, Leo, have you not taught my boy the correct terms for his anatomy?”
I shrug. “We call it his winky.”
“Jesus fuck, help me.” Ev runs his hands down his face.
“Hey, I did my best with the dad stuff! Cut me some slack!” I’m getting frustrated now.
He must read it on my face, because he comes and wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me into his large frame. “I know, pretty bird. I’ll teach him. It’s important he knows the correct terminology just in case…well, just in case someone… Fuck. Huh. He just needs to call it by its correct name, okay?”
A sickness hits my stomach because I know exactly what he is trying to say without saying it aloud.
“Okay.”
He leans down to Rune. “We can go over this another time, but your penis is what you call your winky, and from now on, I don’t want you to call it your winky…or dick. Let’s just stick with penis, okay?”
“Penis.” Rune giggles. “That's a funny word.”
Gage walks in with another box.
“Hey, Uncle Gage. I have a penis. Do you have one too?”
There is not a single ounce of shock or embarrassment on Gage’s face with Rune’s statement and question. “Yes, buddy, a very large one.”
“Gage!” I slap him on the back of the head, and he chuckles to himself.
Cole’s eyes widen, and Ev buckles over in laughter.
Rune starts jumping up and down. “I want a large penis. I want one like Uncle Gage!”
Gage pats him on the head. “Well, based on who your dad is, you will always be lacking, but hey, he knocked up your mom, so there is always hope, bud.”
Ev stops laughing and wraps Gage into a head lock and ruffles his perfectly messed-up dark hair. “Oh, you fucker!”
“Okay, no more talk of penises please! Come on, Rune. Let's go see if your dad has any Oreos and ketchup.” Cole covers Rune's ears and guides him into the kitchen.
