He smiles against my lips. The action transfers the smile to my own, and then he kisses me again. For the first time in my life, I feel like a phoenix. He burned away my doubts and lifted me up, letting me spread my wings. I’m rising from the ashes.
I already do,I think to myself.
How can someone so charismatic and bright want to be with someone like me? Wrapping my head around the idea that Ev chose me has been next to impossible. Why me? What is so special about me?
The cafeteria is buzzing with students while I stand in the double-door entry, hiding in the shadows. Ev is casually sitting on top of a table, his long legs resting on the chair in front of him. He sits with all his buddies, laughing and joking, blissfully unaware of how captivating everything he does is. Maybe it’s my rose-colored glasses, or maybe it’s just him, but I am deeply and profoundly in love with Everett Rowan.
It’s been a week since the homecoming game. A week of us being officially together, and already I can’t imagine my life without him. He walks me to all my classes, kisses me fiercely and unashamedly. He continues to write me notes and leaves them in various places for me to find. My little pieces of him, pieces of breadcrumbs. It is terrifying how dependent I have become on him for my happiness.It's probably unhealthy and I should look into counseling, but I don't want to. Because I never want this feeling to end.
He spots me from across the room, and my chest seizes up, my heart-wings taking flight. Oh boy. The way he stalks toward me, all eyes are on him, but his eyes are on me. I want to run. I want to flee as he shines his light on me, illuminating me to the world. But I don’t. I am slowly getting used to the attention, but that doesn’t mean I am comfortable with it. That doesn’t mean my instinct to run is suddenly gone. But for him, I’ll stay.
I saw him, kissed him, and talked to him just a couple hours ago in chemistry. But a couple hours make all the difference when you are as attached as we are. Sometimes I think we are crazy—actually, I know we are crazy. Who falls this fast? Loves this fast? Even though the words haven’t been spoken, the feeling is there. In my bones.
“Hi, pretty bird.” He beams his goofy dimpled smile at me.
“Hi.” I’m trying to diminish my smile, but it’s impossible around him. He, on the other hand, does not try to hide his. He embraces it, fearless in what people think or say about us. He is brave. I am not.
But maybe, little by little, he is teaching me to be brave, because I have written back to all his facts that he gave me. Finally feeling like I can openly and truthfully give him more of myself.
“I have something for you.” I reach into my black over-the-shoulder bag and pull out a note. Not shaped into a cute heart like his are, but folded plainly.
He doesn’t say anything, just watches me. Taking me in as always.
“Here. I thought since you gave me some facts about yourself, I could return the favor.”
“Thank you.” His voice is genuine, as if this is the greatest gift I could have given him. He reaches up, cupping my cheek, and I lean into it, pulling his warmth into me. Then he presses a kiss to my forehead, and it’s just the two of us. No one can see me when he is my shield.
“Should I open it now, or do you want me to read it in private?” His hand remains on my cheek. So gentle, yet he is strong as he holds me up with his touch.
“Private. I’m not sure I’m ready to see your reactions to my truth.”
“Okay.”
That’s it. Okay. No fight to make me reveal anything I don’t want to. No push to make me vulnerable in front of him. Just okay. Just acceptance.
“Hey, I actually have one for you too.” He reaches into his dark jeans pocket and pulls out a note. Shaped perfectly, but not in a heart. In a rose.
“What’s this?”
“Oh come on, Leo. You’re smarter than that. It’s a piece of paper that I have poured my heart and soul onto and so expertly folded. Some call it a love note.”
He chuckles as I roll my eyes. “I know that, jerk. I meant the rose. You usually do hearts.”
“Oh that? Yeah. This one is special.”
I cock an eyebrow at him, hoping he sees my suspicion. “Special?"
“Just open it.”
Unlike me, he has no concern or fear when it comes to being vulnerable.
To find number one,
Go to the place where I discovered my sun.
I’ll give you a hint, but it will cost you a kiss.
Trust me, pretty bird, this one you won't want to miss.
