“Four fucking years!” My scream is filled with agony, my voice breaking like my fucking heart at the betrayal by my best friend and the love of my life. What the fuck did I ever do to deserve this? I was always there for them!
The tears are falling from my eyes. The first time I’ve cried since the day I lost her. I have kept myself somewhat together. But it’s all so much—the betrayal, the lies, the loss.
“You kept her from me,himfrom me, for four fucking years, Gage.”
“I didn’t know her son was yours. I swear. Everett, I would have told you that if I had known.”
“I don’t believe you. How could I ever put my trust in you again? I was lost without her, Gage, and you knew—for four years—that she was right here, in Boston.”
“The nets that I had laid out to alert me when her name came up anywhere flagged when she changed her name. I tracked her down and found she was here in Boston. I almost called you. But then I remembered how she fucking left us—you. How she left you. You were a fucking wreck, man. She promised me once she would never leave you, and she did. I didn’t trust her.”
He is sitting on the couch now, his head in his hands.
“That wasn’t your decision to make, Gage.”
“Maybe not, but you weren’t the only one hurt by her departure. She fucking hurt me too, and then I had to see the damage she caused to my best friend, my brother. I was pissed. I wasn’t thinking clearly. But I had to see if she was…I don’t fucking know. Happy? Sad? A fucking ghost like you.”
“You talked to her.”
“No. But I saw her. I went to Henry Leo’s when it opened, a couple months after I found her. She was smiling. Working behind the counter, serving her coffee. Just like she did at Mill’s. Like you never existed, man. She was happy. Then a little boy ran up to her, and she hugged him so tightly. He called her mommy and I—I freaked out. I thought maybe she had moved on, was with someone else, had a family. I didn’t even think about how old the kid looked. And after that, I stopped digging. I was afraid of what I would find. Fuck, man, I didn’t know.”
I walk to the front door. Open it.
“Four years, Gage.”
“I know.”
And I slam it, leaving behind my best friend…or who I’d thought was my best friend.
He knew. He watched me break. He watched me go back every year on her birthday, desperate for any bread crumb she may have left behind. He continued to pretend that he was searching for her.
But he had found her while I was still lost.
The pieces of the puzzle begin to come together to form the picture.
She was pregnant when she left me. She must have been around eight or nine weeks, which means she should have missed her cycle around…Christmas.
Suddenly, dinner with my parents flashes in my mind.
She threw up all over my shoes. Then she disappeared from me. Not physically but emotionally, mentally. From that night till the day she left, she was already on the run.
She knew she was pregnant, and she didn’t tell me. I begged her to talk to me, but she kept herself closed off. Why wouldn’t she come to me? I would have been there for her, for them.
Then I remember the day she ran. The check.
I dial my mother’s number. I haven’t spoken to her since I moved away after graduation. She calls, but I never answer. I think Natasha keeps her posted on what I’m doing and where I’m at. But she has never come to see me. I never brought up the check with my mom. I knew she would lie to my face.
The phone rings a single time.
“Everett? Honey, are you finally calling to come home?”
“What did you say to Leora the day you met with her at Mill’s?”
The phone is silent. I pull back to see if she hung up, but she didn’t.
“Mother.What did you say to her?” I can’t keep the anger from my tone.
“I… That was so long ago. I don’t remember.”
