She laughs and grabs his fluffy head. He licks her face as she scratches his head, running her fingers through his white coat. Man, I have never wanted to be a dog more than I do right now.
I make it to her, balancing the drink holder in my one hand while I hold Muffin’s disconnected leash in the other. I sit next to her and hand her one drink, taking a sip from my own.
She is staring at me with bewilderment. “What’s this for?”
“Come on, pretty bird. I know the way to your heart is through coffee. Where’s the team?”
“Thanks." She is unsure. Looking at me with suspicion. Just like she did the first time I gave her a note. "They don’t start practice officially till the end of March. But Rune still likes to come and practice. He’s kind of perfectionist, needs to do something over and over till he gets it right. He’s so persistent, never gives up. Sometime other boys from the team join him. Sometimes it's just us.”
“I can relate. That’s how I was with football…and you.”
She looks at me, tries to give me a glare, but a small shy smile peeks out instead. I can see it in her eyes. She’s trying to fight me, but we both know it’s pointless. I will always catch her, no matter how much she tries to deny what is between us still.
“I remember.”
I see the scar on her neck, peeking out from her curls. I reach up and run my thumb against it and she flinches. Her eyes darting to mine then I see them fill with regret. "I'm sorry, I… No one has touched me there since… well. Since you."
I drop my hand. "So you didn't fall in love with anyone else?"
She scoffs, "As if I could. You consumed me. Took all my love and left no crumbs for anyone else."
She must not realize how honest she just was because she clears her throat and looks down at her hands.
"Umm. What about you? Did you fall for anyone?"
I grab her chin between my fingers and force her to look at me. "There was only ever you, Leo. I waited for you. I'm still waiting."
"Dr. Giraffe! Look!" I drop Leo's chin after running my thumb over her pouty bottom lip. So full. So perfect. I let my gaze travel to Rune now.
Rune is out there tossing a ball back and forth with a boy a bit smaller than he is. Actually, a lot smaller. I didn’t notice when it was just him, but now I see that Rune is tall for his age.
“He’s so tall,” I say with a hint of pride in my voice, because I am proud. Real freaking proud to be his dad. He could be the tallest, the smallest, the smartest, or just average, and I would be proud to be his dad.
“Twenty-four inches long when he was born. About killed me. Literally.” She gives a small laugh, like the memory is funny. I don’t find it funny at all.
“What?”
“Yeah, two feet of baby, squished inside my short frame. I blame you.” She bumps her shoulder into mine and smiles at me. But it falls when she sees my face. My face that I’m sure is conveying how freaked the fuck out I am at the thought of her almost dying…and I wasn’t there.
“You almost died?” My voice is smaller than I mean it to be.
She drops her head, looking at her coffee while she runs her fingers around the rim.
“I went into labor a couple weeks early. I pushed for four hours. I was exhausted…” She shakes her head, still looking down. I’m still looking at her. Always looking at her. “He was almost out, but then he got stuck. His heart rate started to drop, so they rushed me into an emergency c-section. Based on how big he was, they said that he never would have come out…the other way. Then after, I was bleeding too much. They called it a…” She pauses. brows furrowed, searching for the word.
“Postpartum hemorrhage,” I finish for her.
“Yeah. That. I had to have two units of blood, and … Well, it doesn’t really matter now. We’re both alive.” She looks at me now. The fear is still in her eyes, haunting her.
I can’t help myself, seeing her vulnerability, her fear. I wrap my hand around her jaw, cradling her cheek in my one hand. She leans into it and everything feels like it falls into place. I lean my forehead against hers.
“I was terrified, Ev. I was so scared that I would die and Rune would be alone without a mother and a father.” Her voice is so incredibly fragile, despite how strong I know she is.
“I am so fucking sorry you had to go through that alone,” I whisper. Our world is a blur around us. It's just the two of us.
She sniffles then seems to come out of the moment. When she pulls back, my hand falls to my lap. She glances at Rune, who is still throwing the ball around, then wipes at her eyes. A hardness coming to her face, as if she is shoving her emotions to the back of her mind and locking them away. No matter. I’ll coax them out in time.
“I wasn’t alone. I had Cole. She was there for me.” She puts an emphasis onshe, and something breaks inside me. The dam that was holding all my anger in…shatters. Saying it like I wasn’t there intentionally. Like I left her for her to do this all alone.
