She still wished Adelais had told her the truth.She still wished Adelais had promised to help her make it all better.
She still…well.It didn’t matter that she still loved Adelais, did it?Not when all of this stretched between them.Not when she was a nun and Adelais was William’s wolf.Not when Adelais wasn’t here in the valley at all.
Though the air had grown milder, warmer, the days weren’t to their summer length yet, and the shadows began stretching out while Tate was still a handful of miles from Far Hope.Another hour and it was gloaming, with the pink-orange light getting darker and bluer the farther she walked.
Finally, it was just her in the dark with her crown of roses.She tried not to think of that night on this very same road, of how hard she came.Of how the Wolf’s weight on her felt like an embrace, like the only thing that could set her free.She tried not to think of the Wolf’s honest, vulnerable confessions, the many wolves inside the one copper-haired warrior.
She failed.And with a deep sigh, she let her mind—and her heart—return to memories of Adelais, since memories were all she had now.Adelais hadn’t come to the abbey once since William gave her its lands, and even if she did return, Tate didn’t know what she’d do.She was still angry at Adelais…even as she also wanted Adelais to build a house within sight of the abbey and spend every waking minute with Tate.Ideally in Tate’s bed.Or in between the braziers.
She wanted to see all the different ways Adelais was and could be.She wanted forever, even if she were angry forever.
Which maybe she wouldn’t be.Holding the fading flower crown, alone on the road with only the owls for company, it all seemed so pointless now.The abbey was nearing the end of its days with or without a new landlord.At least she could be grateful that her new landlord was so very pretty to look at.
Footsteps came behind Tate, and she whirled, lifting the heavy stick she’d been using to walk with.
“Stop!”she ordered the fast-moving shape behind her, and to her surprise, the shape stopped.
Tate stared.
“I told you I’d stop whenever you asked me to,” came a low, burned-edges voice.A cloud shifted above, revealing a tall person with scarlet hair and eerie gold eyes.
Tate’s heart leapt—and then crashed.
“What are you doing here?”she asked.
“I saw you on the road, and I thought I’d make sure you got home safe,” Adelais said.
“I’ll be home safe,” Tate said, already forcing herself to turn away.She couldn’t be near Adelais, couldn’t handle the sight of her, not when all she wanted was to fall at her feet and press her face into Adelais’s thighs.“You can go.”
“I’m sorry,” Adelais said quickly.Clumsily.Like it was the first time she’d ever uttered the phrase.When Tate turned back to look at her, she said it again.
Slower now, with her eyes on Tate’s.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that William was going to gift me with Far Hope.I’m sorry that I wasn’t worthy of the things you showed me.”
Tate searched Adelais’s moon-washed face, stared right into those bright eyes as the apology hung in the sweet spring air.An apology that Tate never thought she’d hear, an apology she’d thought it impossible for this roguish, swaggering soldier to give.
But shehadgiven it—unprompted, unsought.With nothing offered in return.
“And I want to help fix it,” Adelais rushed in, mistaking Tate’s attention for doubt.“I am sorry, and I want to make it right.I want to play fair with you for real now.”
Tate stepped a little closer, still studying her.“You really do mean it?”
A line appeared between Adelais’s brows.“My apology?”
“Yes.”
“Of course I mean it.Knowing that I hurt you felt awful.I should have been honest with you from the beginning.”
Tate closed her eyes, something loosening in her chest.Like when Wynflaed held her as she wept, except even stronger this time.Like her whole body could turn itself into light, into a thousand points of it, like the stars at night.
Maybe this had been what she’d needed all along, since the start of the war, since she killed Cafnoth as a scared young woman.Someone to sayI’m sorry this hurts; I’m sorry you’re hurting.
Someone to sayI’m sorry and I won’t let you hurt alone.
“Thank you,” Tate murmured.And then she opened her eyes.“I forgive you, Adelais.”
In the moonlight, she could see the new shine of tears in Adelais’s gold eyes, and Tate was filled with so much tenderness, she didn’t know if she could speak.
