I inhale slowly.
The air feels heavy in my lungs, but I follow the rhythm anyway.
In. Out. In again.
My lids flutter closed as I feel every muscle twitch. With every inhale, the tension in my body dissipates. I become lighter and lighter until I can barely feel my physical body at all.
In fact, my head nearly droops to the side and I nod off. It’s only when I hit my back on the bench that I startle awake and realize what happened.
Panic overtakes me. I didn’t expect to succeed the first time but I also did not expect to fail so badly.
I need to reach internal awareness not internal dozing off.
Inhale. Exhale.
I attempt it again, but this time, when I feel that intense feeling of relaxation, I don’t give into it. Instead I channel it and empty my mind of any errant thought.
Then something happens. It’s faint at first but growing stronger.
A warmth, buried deep, almost hidden beneath everything else rises to the surface.
I focus on it, reaching for it and…
Immediately, it slips away.
I exhale and repeat the steps. At least I’m doingsomethinggood.
It takes me a few tries before I manage to hold onto that warmth.
It pulsates inside of me, growing stronger by the second. That’s when I realize it’s coming from my lower dantian.
It’s the sphere of energy!
It swirls within me, round and compact. Its outside walls seem impenetrable at first. But the more I probe into it, the more I see flickers of energy jumping out of it, as if it’s slowly disintegrating.
Realization dawns on me. To successfully integrate that ball of energy within me, I not only have to aid it in its disintegration, but also lead those particles through my meridians.
My focus is like a laser beam as I push through the tough outer layer of the sphere to reach the inside.
Time stops; or at least it ceases to flow for me as I become singleminded in my attempt to break through that layer.
And then…
It’s an explosion of sorts, but contained. The layer gives way to the nucleus. I apply the same tactic to it until all that’s left of the sphere is a myriad of tiny particles floating around. Yet they’re not moving.
They’re still there, forming a sphere, though they’re no longer connected.
Right. The last step. I must guide and disperse them throughout my body.
The memory of the way I controlled those two small particles of soul energy to come toward me flashes through my mind. Perhaps I can apply the same principle here.
One by one, I pull each particle forward, leading it toward my meridians. Once they reach my meridians, it’s like they’reswallowed by a vacuum. They flow inside them, moving throughout my body in a steady rhythm.
Sweat gathers on my brows, dripping into my eyes. A few drops get on my lips, the saltiness reaching my tongue.
To ensure no loss of energy, I must take each individual particle and guide it toward my meridians.
After a while, it becomes almost like a game of building blocks and making sure they’re laid at the best possible spot.
