Lila's statement was only too accurate, and she pressed her hand against her chest, feeling her heart kick.
"It's not the same thing."
"Then tell me what it is."
She should. She knew she should. Lila was her best friend—her only real friend, if she was being honest. They'd bonded over their shared status as newcomers to Harmony Glen, both of them trying to build lives in a town full of monsters and humans who'd known each other for generations. Lila understood what it was like to feel out of place, but Lila was also warm and open and optimistic in a way that Marigold had never been.
Lila had found Torin. She'd found her happy ending. Marigold had a mother who'd chased happy endings her whole life and left wreckage in her wake.
"I'm just tired," she said, which wasn't quite a lie. "It was a long afternoon. And Thallos is…" She struggled to find words that wouldn't give too much away. "He's a lot."
"A lot how?"
"A lot… charming."
Another weighted pause. "And that's bad?"
*Yes,*she thought fiercely.*Yes, that's bad. Charm is a warning sign. Charm is what makes you believe every smile, every promise, every 'you're different, you're special.'*
*Charm is what lands you alone in a flower shop, trying to save a business you never wanted, because your mother danced off to India to find herself.*Even though it had turned out to be a business she did want in a town she was growing to love, it hadn't been her choice.
"Mari?"
"It's not bad," she made herself say. "It's just… I don't know. It's complicated."
"Complicated can be good."
"Or complicated can be a mess waiting to happen."
She heard Lila sigh through the phone. "You know sometimes the thing that scares you is also the thing that saves you."
She closed her eyes.
The problem was, she could picture it. Too easily. Letting Thallos in. Letting herself believe the warmth in his golden-brown eyes and the gentleness in his voice when he'd promised not to touch her. She could picture letting herself fall.
But she could also picture the landing.
"I should go," she said. "Early morning tomorrow. Big delivery from my wholesaler."
"Mari—"
"Thanks for checking on me. I'm fine. Really."
"You keep saying that word."
"Because it's true."
Lila was quiet for a long moment. When she spoke again, her voice was gentle in a way that made Marigold's throat tight.
"Okay. But you know where I am if you want to talk. Any time."
"I know."
"And if you need me to come over with wine and chocolate and really terrible rom-coms?—"
"I'll call."
"Promise?"
