“I just like how they look on me.”
“But you have a good body. Skirts would look good, too.”
His mother blushed to the tip of her ears. In the midst of the tense words and Ever’s clenched jaw, I found the similarity adorable.
“They’ve always given me the itch, I guess. When I’ve worn them.”
Ever nodded. It was sharp, but I could sense some of his confidence rising back. “That’s how I feel with most men’s clothes.”
“Oh.” His mother mused that over while she resumed the walk around the gardens. I knew we were supposed to appreciate the landscaping, but it had always felt too polished for me. I’d rather run away from the neighborhood and check out a hiking trail that wasn’t as well-maintained as it could be. “Well, that’s good, then. I just wish you’d told me earlier.”
“It’s a recent development,” Ever whispered. I knew it was, but I also understood his mother. I had thought the same when I first got a glimpse of him at the airport. “I just don’t want you to treat me differently.”
“I would never,” she scoffed as if the mere suggestion was insulting.
I clenched my jaw to pretend my eyes were not misting over. Because as insulting as it could be, she wouldn’t be the first mother who did it. My fists clenched as she reached out to touch Ever’s arm. The move was gentle. Soft. Loving. I still wanted to hit something.
The urge lasted less than a second, too imperceptible for any of them to have read it in my face, but it still burned through me. It still left me out of breath, scrambling for purchase when there would be none.
“Uh, so you’re not here because of that?” Ever asked.
It must’ve taken him a lot to do it. I was only half-listening, only paying half attention as his mother explained that they were here because of a new contract and changes they wanted to oversee themselves with the companies they had hired to take care of the properties in the neighborhood. I only half-noted all the emotion that glittered in Ever’s gaze, all the feelings heswallowed down as his mother made him promise that he was going to be more on top of things in the upcoming weeks for the onboarding of the new workers coming in.
She pulled him to her side, and they both pretended that physical touch was something they gave freely in their household.
Later, when Ever’s father had come back from the bar where he’d been with a group of old friends from college, and they’d all agreed to go to bed early, Ever tugged me close to him in his massive bed and pressed his lips against the pulse point in my neck.
“I love you,” I whispered.
I did. I loved him, and his imperfect family, and every other little thing about him and his life that he didn’t see.
“Love you back.” He stretched as he spoke. “I’m so tired.”
“I know.” He wore his heart on his sleeve. I didn’t know how not everyone saw it, but I did. “I told you it was going to be fine.”
Ever hummed. He pressed his lips against my skin. My fists clenched, dread filling me at the idea of the kisses leading somewhere else. Of the move having a second goal, a script he was following, expecting me to reciprocate.
Seconds passed. I was completely still.
“Night, Sir.”
And that was it.
I breathed out once I could tell he had succumbed to sleep, my muscles slowly relaxing. Cramping from the tension I’d kept them in.
Fuck.
THIRTY-FIVE
ev
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yeah, of course.”
I frowned.
Something was shifting. I didn’t know what it was, but it had started at some point while my parents were still taking over our entire agenda. I should’ve made more of an effort to talk about it, but they had been there, and that talk with my mother hadn’t fixed everything. And now we were in the parking lot closest to Plumas, and he was acting normal, but he’d been holding himself…straighter, lately. I could see him clenching his fists and holding his breath as if he was waiting for a blow that was obviously not coming, but he wasn’t telling me why. Not that I could complain. I knew I was abysmal when it came to sharing stuff, but I’d grown used to the two of us, to the idea that we could defy all norms—all the obstacles that usually hindered every attempt I made at building something good.
