“Hmm.”
I waited, but he didn’t say anything else. He was brushing my hair with his fingers, though, so I didn’t mind. This felt right again. Him. In my bed. The two of us against the world, the way it was supposed to be.
SIX
santos
Routines meant I was up before Ever’s alarm rang. It meant that I had all the time I wanted to revel in how he’d managed to wrap himself all over me before my bladder protested his weight against my abdomen. I didn’t push him away, though. No, I just clenched and held my breath.
Every discomfort was worth the first good night’s sleep I’d had in I didn’t know how long.
“Morning,” Ever mumbled against my shoulder. I ran a hand through his hair, avoiding the couple of knots building there. “We’re pretty codependent, aren’t we?”
I scoffed. “I never understood what that means.”
Ever opened his eyes then. I supposed he was trying to scowl at me. It was pretty cute when he could barely manage to keep said eyes open. “You’re smart. Stop it.”
“Right.”
I didn’t mention that he was the only person out there who would be caught saying that about me. I just, gently, scooped him off me and headed to the bathroom. Sadly, en-suites weren’t much of a thing when this place was built, but the main bathroom was right next to his room.
“Want me to prep breakfast?”
“Actually…” I heard the soft pads of his fluffy socks against the wood as he walked toward me. I hadn’t closed the door fully so that I could hear if he needed something. It made me stay still now. So much was still up in the air. “There’s a munch today. Maybe we can go? I asked Danny, and Carlos will be there. He’s a veteran, too, so I thought maybe…”
“We can go.” Speaking before he ran off steam was second nature, so what he’d said only registered a few seconds later. “Uh, what’s a munch about, anyway?”
Ever stood behind the door as he answered. “It’s just brunch, really, but everyone is kinky. It’s technically open to everyone, but in the end, it’s mostly us in the inner circle and maybe a couple more people.”
“Okay.”
I sighed. I’d have to grab a cereal bar or something if I didn’t want my stomach screaming at me, but I could do brunch. I could also ignore the associations in my head to the kind of pretentious shit our families had been all about.
I wasn’t of royal blood, thank fuck, but my family was so well connected, I wondered which of our last names held more weight.
“Really?” I opened the door after washing my hands. “You’re not just saying that, right? I mean, it’s not too much? I haven’t been to the club because I wanted to give you time to settle, and it’s fine if you need more. You just tell me.”
“You don’t have to keep away from anything because I’m here.”
“I know, but…”
I’d be doing the same thing. I got it. It just frustrated me. I hated feeling weak. I hated feeling like I was putting someone out, the same way it had been drilled into my head since I was a toddler.
Asking for help was not a good idea. Asking for leniency, to be spared, was even worse. Awareness meant I could fight the notions some, but it wasn’t a perfect solution.
“Let’s just go to the thing,” I said. “I’ve been curious to meet your friends.”
I would’ve been just as happy not doing it and staying curled up in a bed with Ever, giving him all the affection no one else apparently gave him, but it wasn’t a lie. Ever had clearly not told me everything over text, but he had spoken about this inner circle for way longer than he’d ever bothered filling me in on other people.
The café they were meeting at was one that hadn’t been open the last time I was around this area. It promised all vegan and vegetarian combos and all sorts of international dishes, while keeping a light, casual air about it.
It had nothing to do with the places my mother had taken me, with all the linen and cutlery and fancy chandeliers that weren’t supposed to look gauche but did anyway.
The realization helped relax me some as Ever led the way to a table that was mostly occupied by the time we made it inside. He had promised that we weren’t running late, but clearly, we worked on two different definitions of the word late.
“I texted Erika that we were coming, so there’s a chair for you, but we usually RSVP for the food.”
“That’s fine.” It wasn’t, but I placed my hand on his lower back and kept him close. “We’ll just flag a server.”
