‘We know he had a lovely home and is used to family life.’
‘That’s not enough, Raf! Don’t you start too; I’ve got enough on my plate without adding another problem to the mix. I’m sorry, but Flynn is not an option.’ She tried not to picture the wolfhound at home, curled up in bed, the company he’d provide when the children weren’t there. ‘We’d be nuts to take him on, and what am I supposed to do with him when I’m at work? Get a babysitter? And besides, what would you know about committing to anything?’
‘More than you probably think,’ he replied with a shrug. ‘And you always wanted a dog.’
‘Yeah, but that was supposed to be when Ewan and I moved to Galloway, and that’s never going to happen now.’ Cassie gulped back a rush of sadness at the loss of her dream.
‘I was just trying to help. Stop you making a mistake.’
‘Well, that’s not actually your job,’ she retorted, still searching for calm after the worry of Rory disappearing and then his silent plea over Flynn. ‘So thanks, but just leave it, yeah?’
Five hours and a hundred and fifty miles later, Cassie was approaching the tiny harbour village in the Scottish Borders that she’d known since she was fourteen. When the kids were little, she and Ewan had used to play Spot-the-Sea, when the first person to catch a glimpse was declared the winner and would receive a small treat. Isla and Rory had lost interest in the game with age and now it was only Cassie watching for that first sighting and the sense that she was nearly home, because in Galloway she was so at peace. She felt a pang for their younger days, when they’d played endless games of I Spy and chattered instead of going online with ear buds in. It still occasionally took her breath away to realise she was in sole charge of parenting these two wonderful young people into adulthood, and she was very thankful for the love and support of family and friends. At least her parents-in-law, Fiona and Gordon, would be waiting as usual to greet them.
‘Nearly there, Mum.’
‘We are.’ She smiled at Rory beside her – he had swapped into the front when they’d stopped at the services – not wanting the gesture to be a sad one. These few days were going to be difficult for them all, and she didn’t want to linger on the poignancy of their final journey here.
‘Are you okay? How do you feel now about Granny and Grandpa’s move?’ They’d talked about this before, and she knew how much he’d miss his grandparents’ home. How could he not, when she too would be leaving a part of her heart behind in this place?
‘Sad, but happy too, ’cos I know they’re pleased to be moving nearer to us. I’ll be able to get the train up to stay with them.’
‘Yes, and your new bedroom will be fab too, with a bathroom just for you and Isla once it’s all ready. It certainly won’t be draughty, with high ceilings and those rattling windows letting the wind in.’
‘I don’t mind the windows. I am going to miss it, though, Mum. Especially the cycling.’ Rory sighed as he turned over the phone in his hand. ‘This was where Dad taught me to ride a bike.’
‘I know, sweetheart.’ A splinter of sorrow pierced her heart at those quiet words. ‘And Granny and Grandpa are really going to miss it too, even though it’s the right decision for them. It’s such a lot to look after since Granny took on the garden at the Big House as well, and they’re not getting any younger.’
Fiona and Gordon had bought their farmhouse and the two small cottages which adjoined it a few years after they’d got married, part of an estate which had been divided up. The farmhouse sat beside a walled garden and an orchard, a narrow track running through woodland leading to a tiny horseshoe-shaped bay with clear waters and soft white sand. Since retiring from her nursing job, Fiona had taken on the management of the historic garden surrounding the Big House but was ready to hand it over to someone new.
‘Do you think they feel as though they’re leaving Dad behind?’ Rory’s question was a quiet one, and Cassie’s hand found one of his. ‘We have loads of memories here and I think Dad would agree with the move, but he’d be sad too.’
‘Exactly that,’ she murmured. ‘But Dad would say that we take him with us wherever we go, and he loved London.’
‘That was because you were there, too.’
Cassie was reminded of her university days, how much she’d loved her degree course and had planned to follow it with a master’s before other events overtook them. ‘Yes, but Dad was offered a great opportunity once he became a consultant, and it made sense to stay in London.’
How huge those decisions had seemed at the time. The simple reality was that she and Ewan had loved each other, and she’d wanted to make her home with him. And he’d wanted London. ‘Granny and Grandpa are brilliant at making friends and taking care of people, so I don’t think it matters where they live. There’ll be new things you can do with them, like the cinema and stuff.’ That wasn’t a great sell to console Rory; they had cinemas and every other kind of entertainment in London.
‘Yeah. I s’pose.’
Fiona and Gordon had fallen in love with the Dales when they’d joined Cassie and the children in Hartfell during February half term, staying in a nearby B&B. It had been a precious time filled with happiness and love, despite the ever-present sadness they all lived with. Towards the end of the week they’d tentatively broached the idea of leaving Galloway for good. Amidst the tears, she’d said they had to think of themselves first and she would support whatever decision they made, even though her heart had ached at losing another link to Ewan. But it did mean her parents-in-law would be nearer, and she’d be able to combine visits to them with ones to Pippa, Gil and Harriet as well.
Things had moved at pace since February, and the sale on the bungalow Fiona and Gordon had found was almost complete, the property set in a garden large enough without being too much. Fiona had made it clear they wanted their new house to be a home from home where Cassie could work if necessary, and the children could stay before the demands of college and university overtook them.
Cassie pulled up at a crossroads, the village and its harbour to her left, ahead the drive which would take them past the Big House. It really was like coming home, and for a few uneasy moments she wondered how she would bear the move, too. Never seeing this view or the farmhouse again, or the leafy track through the garden they’d walked and cycled to the village so many times.
‘I love you, you know.’ She gripped Rory’s hand again and felt him squeeze back. Sometimes it was the only thing to say, and she reminded her children constantly. She wanted her love planted deep in their hearts in a way it had never been for her, to carry the certainty of it every moment of their lives. ‘There’s no reason why we couldn’t come back and visit if we want to.’
‘I know. It just wouldn’t be the same.’ He turned his clear gaze on her and she nodded. How could it be the same? Because for all the beauty and brightness, the sea and the sunshine, it was family that had truly made it home. Without Fiona and Gordon here and Ewan gone, the heart of this place would go with them.
‘I really feel Dad when we’re here, Mum. Sometimes more than at home, because we were always together, and he didn’t have to go rushing off to the hospital the whole time.’
‘Oh, baby. Come here.’ Cassie’s eyes were damp, and she put the car into park before easing Rory into a hug, Isla on her phone behind them. At least there was no traffic to trouble them, or angry drivers ranting about being held up. ‘Are you worried about losing that feeling?’
‘Yeah.’ Rory sniffed into her shoulder and slowly eased free.
‘Then maybe we should make a promise, whether it’s just us three, or Granny and Grandpa as well, that we should come back and visit the beach every year.’ She was thinking out loud and didn’t know if her suggestion was a brilliant idea or one of those things they meant to do and never managed. ‘Then we can talk about Dad, remember all the good times and make sure we share our memories and keep them alive. Do you think it would help, if we knew this wasn’t the very last time?’
