Rory’s explanation was perfectly reasonable, and six months ago she would have said yes to Raf and been grateful for the offer to share a long drive. ‘I don’t think so, darling. I’m sure Raf will have other plans, and he won’t want to hang around to bring us back.’
‘You always say that now. I know he’d take us home if we wanted. Why are you being so weird about him?’ Rory frowned and Cassie couldn’t look at him lest the truth about that night in Australia and her guilt was splattered all over her face. ‘How do you know what he’s planning if you haven’t asked him? I think he’d love to come with us to Galloway, and I bet Granny and Grandpa would appreciate the extra help. I’ll message him now.’ Rory reached for his phone in a pocket of his cargo shorts.
‘No, Rory!’ She smiled to soften the sharpness, seeing surprise flare in her son’s face. ‘And I’m not being weird. We don’t want to put Raf under any pressure to help with the move. You know his plans often change, and he comes and goes as he pleases. He might be going to Norfolk, and that’s hardly en route to London from Galloway.’
‘He’s not. I messaged him about my bike, and he told me he was at the flat.’ Rory always seemed to know Raf’s movements, and he checked in with her children regularly, took them out for pizza, to a movie or a gig. Anything he thought they might like and would make them happy. She totally appreciated it and was grateful for his support, even if some days she felt as though she was trying not to topple from a tightrope, balancing her children’s happiness against the mistake she’d made in Australia.
Commitment, except to his music, had never been a concept Raf was familiar with, and she clung to his desire to roam as though her own life depended on it. He hadn’t shown any inclination to make a permanent home with a partner, and his last girlfriend had been a stunning Swedish journalist from whom he’d split last summer. If he was seeing anyone else, Cassie knew nothing of it. But why should she? she reasoned, as Rory shuttered his disappointment and closed the door behind him. Raf had no reason to share his private life with her. They were friends, old ones, and he made a huge difference in her children’s lives. There wasn’t, and there never could be, anything more.
She crossed the landing to freshen up in the bathroom, a pale reflection staring back from the mirror above the sink. Some days it seemed she wore their bereavement on her face too, dark circles beneath her eyes evidence of disturbed sleep. Her brunette hair used to be longer, but now she wore it in a layered choppy bob skimming her jaw. The caramel- and honey-coloured highlights were different too, and occasionally she worried that she didn’t now fully resemble the woman Ewan had known and loved.
Back downstairs she helped carry food and drinks into the garden. Pippa sent Gil to the stables in search of the girls while Rory played with the dogs on the lawn, dodging the huge tent set up for the teenagers as there wasn’t enough room in the house for everyone. Cassie felt clumsy with nerves over meeting Jago, sloshing a jug of juice on the wooden table. She tried not to wonder what he would make of her. Not that it mattered, but perhaps the lunch might help her dust off some very rusty flirting skills.
Cassie was distracted by the view, a moment of calm following. A cool, damp few days had made way for glorious sunshine, and pretty white clumps of blossom were scattered across hawthorn trees like blobs of ice cream. Hay meadows were flourishing, speckled with bright yellow rattle and the soft pink of red campion. Purple foxgloves and nodding white cow parsley lined the meadow beyond the garden, and lambs in the field further on were already plump from milk enriched by lush spring grass, leaping in the air as their mothers grazed.
Soon the three adults were assembled around the old wooden table, a dark green parasol blotting out some of the heat. The teenagers had been excused from sitting with them and loaded their plates with flatbreads topped with mounds of creamy hummus and roasted vegetables. Jago was due any minute, and Cassie’s eyes flickered occasionally to the gate across the garden. Chatting with Gil, she noticed Rory’s face light up in welcome at the sound of car doors slamming. Her head whipped around, surprised by his reaction for a stranger.
The plate she held wobbled as she spotted Raf on the drive, and her stomach dropped in the way she had come to expect around him now. Her breath hitched as he stared back, the distance between them shrinking as a flush crept along her throat. Her shocked gaze leapt to the beautiful blonde woman at his side, and the tentative smile on Cassie’s lips died. She hastily put down her plate, the food swimming in front of her.
Chapter Two
‘Raf! What a wonderful surprise.’ Pippa leapt up, but Rory had already taken off. He yanked open the gate and Cassie gulped when he flung himself on his godfather.
He stepped back once Pippa caught up and wrapped her brother in an embrace. Gil handed Cassie a glass of wine and she thanked him before taking a hasty mouthful, trying to force her expression to convey everything her racing mind was not. Once she would have welcomed Raf much like Pippa had, who was now leading him and the woman through the gate and towards the table. The dogs bounded across, he reached down to make a fuss of them, and Cassie heard him trying to refuse whatever it was Pippa had just suggested.
‘Look, I didn’t want to bother you. It was a last-minute change of plan, that’s all. I got a lift up last night and stayed at the pub.’
‘But you could have come with us,’ Rory said earnestly, throwing Cassie a glance. She pursed her lips. At least the car had been too full for that. If necessary she’d have brought even more stuff to avoid making room for Raf.
‘Thanks, buddy.’ Raf dropped a hand on Rory’s shoulder as his eyes caught hers. She wondered if she was imagining an unspoken apology, the realisation that he’d shocked her by turning up out of the blue, and not alone. ‘Didn’t think of that.’
Cassie had known him for most of her life, and until six months ago she’d never thought about him in the way she did now. How had she not noticed his eyes were the exact shade of melted milk chocolate? And had he always had those cheekbones, that square jaw and husky hint of tomorrow in his voice? The blond highlights from his band years were gone, his hair a textured crop with razored sides that made him appear leaner. His natural nut brown was shot through with grey, matching a beard barely more than stubble. When she was at university he’d modelled for a lark and some cash, turning it into a career, and age had brought a maturity that still occasionally earned him a place on the sexiest men alive lists. He wore a small gold ring in each ear, and she fixed her gaze on one to avoid staring at his mouth and those full bow-shaped lips as every reluctant step brought him closer to where she sat.
‘But why didn’t you let us know you were coming? And where’s your car?’ Pippa was used to her brother’s changing plans, but this one appeared to have thrown her.
‘I’ve swapped it for something different. I’m picking it up later.’
‘Well, I insist you both stay for lunch,’ she said firmly, giving the woman another smile. ‘I’ll fetch more plates.’
‘Allegra’s just dropping me off, Pippa, we’re not stopping,’ Raf said quickly. ‘She gave me a lift to…’
‘Don’t be silly, we’ve got plenty of food. Jago’s due any minute, then we can eat. Won’t you introduce your friend, Raf?’ She looked at him expectantly, but the woman was quicker.
‘I’m Allegra Foxton, how wonderful to meet you all,’ she said happily. ‘I’ve heard so many amazing things, and it’s so kind of you to invite us to stay for lunch.’
Cassie took a second generous swig of wine as Raf ran warily through the introductions. If she drank enough, hopefully everyone would assume the flush on her cheeks was alcohol-induced and not because of the man who dominated her thoughts way more than he should. The girls waved hello from the tent and Rory changed his mind about eating with them. Her heart cracked just a little more as he waited for Raf to choose a seat first in hopes of sitting beside him.
Gil got up to envelop Raf in a brotherly hug, and he shook hands with Allegra. Pippa looked as though Christmas had come early, and Cassie shuffled up to make room as Pippa shot back to the house for more plates and glasses. She stole another glance at Allegra as Raf pulled out a seat for her opposite Cassie, brushing away soft pink apple blossom from the cushion. Pale skin was flawless on a delicate, heart-shaped face, surrounded by tumbling blonde hair colour blocked in subtle tones of ash, enhancing a beauty that was enchanting. There was something both vulnerable and strong in such a face, and Allegra had the kind of tall, willowy figure Cassie would have once envied. She didn’t miss the look Allegra threw him as she sat down, one she had seen so many times before. He turned to Rory on his other side, playfully ruffling Rory’s hair and saying something which made him laugh.
It was time, and she needed to face the reality. The secret feelings she harboured for Raf had no place in her heart, and his friendship was too precious to lose because she had a crush on him after one incredible kiss. She would make herself get over this; she had to. But why did he have to look so good? Those two gold rings glittering against suntanned skin, the muscled arms she remembered holding her that night. He’d pulled a pair of aviator sunglasses down from his hair, and she couldn’t read his expression behind them.
‘Raf’s told me so much about you, Cassie.’ Allegra leant forward, her bare arm brushing his.
‘Oh?’ Cassie forced out a quick laugh. So Allegra must be the reason why he had called her twice this week, and it was her own fault for not picking up. If she had, then at least she would have spared herself a new girlfriend being sprung on her like this. She rarely drank these days, and the alcohol was already hitting her bloodstream, making her head swim. ‘I hope he said nice things.’ He’d better not have referred to her as an ‘old’ friend.
‘Oh, he was very kind.’ Allegra had perfected the ability to stare coyly from beneath thick lashes. ‘It’s so sweet, how he takes care of his old friends.’
And there it was. Somehow that made her feel like an elderly dependant who could barely totter from A to B. Allegra probably hadn’t meant it unkindly; it wasn’t likely she perceived any threat around this table to whatever was going on between her and Raf. Cassie thought her face might crack if she smiled any harder as Pippa deposited extra plates on the table. The sound of another car had Pippa turning, and she hurried to welcome their latest guest. Cassie was only too thankful to shove her chair back and leap up, ready to be distracted by the new arrival. Pippa greeted him with kisses on both cheeks and tucked her arm through his as she led him to the table.
