‘What does it say?’ Rory shuffled up for a closer look.
‘It’s the opening lyrics of our last number one single.’ Raf found his phone to enlarge the image so Rory could read it, too. His eyes met Cassie’s over her son’s, and she read the surprised delight in them. There had been plenty of number-one singles and albums down the years, and she’d chosen this one because although he’d been credited, with Jonny writing the music, she was one of the very few who knew that Raf had written every line. Most of the recent Blue at Midnight songs were a collaboration, and he preferred to keep it that way as far as the world was concerned.
‘That’s really cool, Mum, I love it.’
‘So do I,’ Raf said softly, and there was nowhere else for Cassie to go when he leant across, not unless she threw herself off the bed. ‘It’s perfect.’
His lips were gentle against her cheek when he kissed it, the rough scratch of his beard brushing her skin. One arm went around her, and her pulse spiked again as he drew her close. She allowed herself a moment to indulge the pleasure her gift had brought him, then eased free.
‘I’ll take your tray down,’ she said casually. ‘Come on, Flynn, let’s give the birthday boy some peace.’
They left for the off-road experience after a light brunch, Cassie driving. Raf was busy on his phone, replying to the birthday notifications still pouring in. He’d mentioned that he’d been invited to take part in an interview with a music magazine, reflecting on the end of his career and talking about new plans, but he’d turned it down for now. Calls also came from Jonny and his half-brother and sister in Australia, as well as his sister Tilly in her Greek B&B, and he was still chatting with her when they finally arrived at the off-road centre.
Once they’d sat through the safety briefing, Isla and Rory couldn’t wait to get out on the quad bikes. They adored the experience, belting along muddy tracks as fast as they were allowed. Rory was a natural, and Raf was at his side as Cassie and Isla kept up a few lengths behind. When it was time to drive the Land Rovers, Rory opted to join Raf while Isla sat in the back of Cassie’s vehicle. She enjoyed it more than she’d expected, climbing steep and rutted mounds and slithering down the opposite side. They shared high fives when they were done, and she checked her phone after a coffee, making sure Pippa was ready for them to return. As they approached the house, Isla insisted on blindfolding Raf with a scarf so he couldn’t sneak a peek or identify guests from their cars outside.
Isla and Rory tucked their arm through his as they led him past the house and into the walled garden, with Cassie in front. She’d texted a five-minute warning to Pippa and couldn’t stifle a laugh when five dogs came charging across the lawn. Lola and Maud were followed by Flynn, Bramble and Briar, and she turned around to see the children removing Raf’s blindfold as the opening notes of Stevie Wonder’s ‘Happy Birthday’ hit the outdoor speakers. They were first to hug him before they took off, and with everyone else approaching, Cassie only had a moment.
‘I hope you don’t mind,’ she said softly. ‘But watching one of your movies all together seemed like a nice idea, and everyone who loves you wanted you to have a special day.’
‘Mind?’ His hand caught hers as she went to step aside. ‘It’s perfect.’
A huge screen was set up at the far end of the lawn, surrounded by rows of fairy lights running along the rows of chairs facing it. A gazebo stood to the right, the tables inside it made from old beer barrels Pippa had borrowed from Kenny and Vince, set amongst more chairs and a couple of sofas scattered with cushions and blankets. A firepit was burning, the orange glow reflected in the sun beginning to slide behind the fell, and Pippa was the first to reach her brother and wish him well. Then it was Harriet’s turn, followed by Alfie and Jacob, who shook his hand, then Gil and his two sons, Joel and Luca. Fiona and Gordon hugged Raf as well, and Kenny and Vince were here too, a flying visit before service at the pub. Cassie was keen to make herself useful after missing the preparations while they’d been out, and Fiona came to help.
Yesterday at Home Farm she and Pippa had made spiced pork belly and a butternut squash version roasted the same way, which they served with black beans baked with feta cheese, coriander and tacos. Pudding was individual servings of ice cream in tubs to eat with popcorn during the movie, and afterwards they’d light the candles on the chocolate birthday cake Violet and Daphne had sent. Gil was in charge of the projector to screen the movie, and it was his and Pippa’s birthday gift to Raf so he could watch more movies outdoors.
The food soon vanished, and the teenagers went indoors hunting for leftovers. Cassie made sure everyone had drinks and was comfortable when they sat down to watch the movie a bit later. The fairy lights glittered through the dusk in their snug cinema, and her heart lifted again when she saw Isla and Rory laughing with the others. They’d been right to celebrate Raf’s birthday this way, and she knew it from his gaze constantly finding hers. He’d tried to persuade her to confess which movie she’d chosen as she took her seat next to his, but she’d playfully refused and told him to wait.
His hand found hers through the darkness to squeeze it when the opening credits ofE.T.began to roll. Thankfully, the teenagers didn’t grumble about watching a movie so old, and she had to brush away a tear more than once. It always got her; it was such a sweet story of friendship and fun. Once it was over, the younger ones huddled together with the last of the ice cream tubs, Cassie went to fetch the cake, and Pippa offered to help with replenishing drinks. In the kitchen she opened the high cupboard where she’d hidden the cake. There were too many dogs around to leave such a tempting treat within reach, and she heard Pippa behind her.
‘Isn’t it a wonderful evening? Thank you for everything you and Gil have done. Raf seems thrilled and I’m so happy we managed to surprise him.’
‘You definitely did surprise me. And I love every single detail, so thank you.’
‘Oh, hey!’ She slammed the cupboard door, hoping Raf hadn’t spotted his cake or the black and gold fortieth birthday topper. She whirled around to see him propped against the table, hands resting on it. ‘I thought you were Pippa.’
‘I offered to help you instead. Pippa told me all this is down to you.’
‘It absolutely isn’t. Pippa’s done as much as me, and she and Gil have been setting up half the afternoon.’ Cassie cleared her throat. ‘So would you mind fetching more champagne, please?’
‘In a minute.’ He was wearing a pair of vintage 501s with a turn up and the black retro T-shirt Tilly had sent him, the year of his birth emblazoned across it in blue, yellow and pink. He looked dangerous and desirable, and suddenly far too close. ‘I wanted to see you first.’
‘Oh. Well, if you’re going to thank me again, there’s really no need.’ She laughed, hoping it didn’t sound as forced as it felt. She didn’t need to hear that rough note in his voice or allow herself to fall into that dark brown gaze.
‘You do so much for us, and a nice birthday was the least I could do in return. And now you can tick another movie off your list. Why don’t you go back outside? I’ll get the champagne.’ She wanted him in the garden when the cake was carried out, candles blazing and everyone singing.
She went to the fridge and opened the door, a welcome blast of cool air following as she removed a bottle of fizz. Raf hadn’t budged, and as she went to pass him, he caught her hand. Cassie meant to free herself, to restore the distance she worked hard to maintain, but instead she was breathing him in, the scent of amber and something spicier in his cologne, alerting her to danger. She’d drunk a couple of glasses of champagne, nowhere near enough to make her take total leave of her senses, and yet…
‘Are we ever going to talk about that night and what it meant?’ he asked softly. She could barely think with his fingers idly stroking hers, tracing a pattern her mind couldn’t follow. Even her cotton shirt suddenly felt way too hot. Slowly, she looked up. His gaze was burning on hers and she daren’t tell him the truth: that she couldn’t get past that night and their kiss, and she wanted more. So much more, and somehow her fingers were still around his, the heat of his touch lighting a blaze across her skin.
‘We are past it,’ she muttered. ‘We’re friends again and that’s all we can ever be. Nothing happened.’
She repeated the mantra that lived in her head, the one she clung to when she woke in the night dreaming of Raf and all she wanted to share with him. But somethinghadhappened in Australia, and it wouldn’t go away, no matter how often she tried to force it, tormented by the memory of being in his arms and how he’d felt against her, his mouth demanding and insistent and perfect on hers.
‘And what if I don’t want to be friends with you anymore? There isn’t anyone who gets me like you do. No one who makes me feel the way you do.’
She’d never heard his voice like this, so low and somehow lazy, planting every single word deep in her heart. She couldn’t offer any resistance when he eased her between his legs and took the bottle. Cassie was melting, longing to fall into his embrace and have him hold her in all the ways she dreamt of. He ran his hands very slowly from her shoulders to her wrists, and her limbs were turning to liquid, heat pooling in her body and demanding satisfaction with every brush of his palms. His own breath was ragged and uneven, and she was desperate to repeat every lesson she’d learnt that night in just one kiss.
‘Do you want me to stop?’
