‘So it’s true, then? When did it start?’ Rory’s eyes were pools of ice now he’d been confronted with feelings and a situation he hadn’t seen coming. ‘Between you and Mum?’
‘Honestly, I’m not even sure.’ Raf glanced at Cassie, and he raised a shoulder. ‘But I’d say it was when we were in Queensland last year that I realised my feelings had changed, and I thought your mum maybe felt the same.’
‘So what happened?’ Rory was watching Raf, and she offered him a faint smile when his gaze wandered to hers.
‘We were talking on the second night when the four of us stayed at the beach,’ Raf explained. ‘Talking about your dad, and how much we missed him and wished he was there. We were both feeling sad and we shared a hug. We’ve done that loads of times, and I had no idea it would feel so different. Then we kissed, once. And that was it, until this week.’
‘Seriously?’
Cassie was expecting more scorn, but there was a hopeful note in Rory’s response, too.
‘You haven’t been…?’ He fell silent and Isla jumped in.
‘Together all this time and lying to us?’
‘Nope.’ Raf leant forward. ‘And the reason why not is partly because we just couldn’t get our heads around feeling the way we do, when we both love your dad.’
He placed a hand over Isla and Rory’s. ‘But mostly it’s because your mum made it very clear that you come first, and she couldn’t ever be with someone either of you wouldn’t accept. And she didn’t see how you would accept me, as your dad’s friend. So yeah, for the past nine months we’ve been trying to pretend we’re just friends and there won’t ever be more. That’s how much she loves you, how much she strived to protect you from anything else that might hurt you. And then, while we were away, we talked some more and decided our feelings deserved a chance, that maybe we could find a way to tell you and hope you might be okay with it.’
Raf huffed out a breath. ‘She’s amazing, your mum. I know you kind of know that, but maybe you don’t realise how much. How she copes without your dad and takes such incredible care of you and checks in with everyone else to make sure they’re all right.
‘So we totally understand that you’re hurt and shocked, but please realise that your mum is, too. And I don’t think she deserves the silent treatment, Rory. You can’t understand the truth if you’re not prepared to listen. Beyond those we love, no one else’s opinion matters.’
At this Rory’s eyes drifted to Cassie, and she leapt up when she saw the tears glistening in them. She hurried around the table and pulled him into her arms, his head falling to her shoulder as he clung to her.
‘Oh, Rory, darling. I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt either of you.’
She hadn’t realised that Raf had stood too, until she felt his hand on her back and her own tears came when she saw his hand on Rory’s back, too. She sniffed as they slowly drew apart, and she returned to her chair.
‘I wanted it to be true,’ Rory whispered, his eyes glued to Raf. ‘Because if you and Mum were together, then maybe you wouldn’t always have to leave us, and we could stay here. There’s no one I love in London, other than Jas, and she’s leaving too. But I was scared it wasn’t real when I saw the pictures. You always told us not to believe that stuff.’
Raf exhaled as Cassie swiped her eyes, and he reached across to grip Rory’s hands. ‘I’m not going anywhere, buddy, I promise,’ he said softly. ‘Whatever happens, I’ll always love you and Isla and be there for both of you.’
‘Do you love Mum?’ Isla was always direct, and Cassie held her breath. They hadn’t said these words out loud, not yet, but everything they had shared, especially in Majorca, felt exactly that. A passionate, long-lasting, life-affirming love she had never expected to find again and now couldn’t imagine living without.
‘Truthfully?’ Raf smiled as he let Rory go, his eyes landing on Cassie’s. She was already reading his reply in them, and her heart lifted at the unspoken words he’d shared time and again these past months. ‘Truly, madly, deeply, for the first time in my life. Is that how the saying goes?’
‘So we’re good, then?’ Isla jumped up and grabbed her phone. ‘It’s just that I’m meeting Harriet and Alfie at Young Farmer’s, and I’ve got to get going.’
‘Wait, that’s it? The conference is over?’ Cassie’s words came on a short laugh. Dare she believe this might all be real and her children would be okay?
‘I’m cool with it.’ Isla shrugged. ‘But just keep the ick stuff to a minimum when we’re around, yeah? You’re both pretty old to be, like, kissing and stuff.’ She mimed sticking her fingers down her throat, and this time Cassie did laugh, even as her gaze went to Rory, still sitting.
‘You haven’t said it back, Mum,’ he said seriously.
‘Said what?’ She was trying to keep up, but it was hard after a day such as this one.
‘That you love Raf too.’
‘Rory’s right, you haven’t.’ Raf sat back, and her stomach dipped when he grinned. There was confidence and amusement and more dancing in his eyes, and her smile turned into a laugh she couldn’t restrain. ‘So go on then, say it. If it’s true and you mean it.’
She wanted to tease him for a bit longer, but it wouldn’t be fair on Rory, who was staring at her hopefully. She hadn’t realised quite how much her son looked to Raf for guidance, and how his life was flourishing with Raf in it. She couldn’t be the one to take all that away from them, and now she didn’t have to. It felt amazing, to look at him this way and not wear a disguise, to dismiss feelings neither of them had expected. And now she understood it wasn’t the fear of having Raf in their lives in every way possible that had frightened Rory; it was the dread of living without him.
‘I love you back,’ she said softly. Her hand found his, and he gripped it as the cheeky grin widened. ‘Truly, madly, deeply.’
‘So does that mean you’re officially our stepdad?’ A smile spread across Rory’s face. ‘Like, for real?’
‘I think it does, Rory, yeah.’ Raf laughed as Rory jumped up and came around the table. He let go of Cassie to hug her son, and she was crying again, swiping away tears of happiness. ‘So you’d better get used to me asking you about homework and stuff.’
