“You’ve helped yourself to my things, I see.”
I shrug and scoop up a mouthful of the thick stew, salivating before it even hits my tongue.
“You said I needed to bathe. I wasn’t going to contaminate myself with dirty clothing.”
“Very well. Anything else?”
Is he seriously asking?I keep a steady pace of spoon to mouth, finishing the contents before starting on the bread. I rip it and bring it to my mouth, inhaling deeply, allowing the comfort the scent evokes to bloom in my chest just for a second. Memories begin to surface, but I lock those away until I’m alone.
“I’d like something to write with.” Keeping track of what I’ve seen, where we went, and anything else that I might need is the only thing that may keep me sane. And relying on my jumbled memory won’t work. There’s too much I’m trying to hold onto as it is. Plus, who knows? I might be able to send a letter somehow. Leave a clue… “And to write on, just in case you think you can be clever and trick me with specifics.” I continue to pull the bread apart and savour it as best I can.
“You lack trust.”
My hand pauses, and I turn to eye him. “You stole me away, dropped me off a cliff, and I’m assuming, sent guards to try it before. Did you know they tried to hurt me?” I don’t point out that they tried to remove my necklace, just in case they decide to do it again, and succeed.
“Okay. We can work on that.”
“No, we can’t. And stop trying to be anything more than the man who murdered my friend and tried to kill another.” I reset the boundaries after the acts of kindness. He’s trying to get on my good side, and there’s a huge part of me that wants to fall for everything he’s showing me now. But I can’t forget. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” A non-answer.
“And you tell me I’m untrusting. Who am I going to tell? Given I didn’t even know Kirrasia existed until recently, you could make up a name, and I wouldn’t know.”
“I see you’re not quite over that part then.” He scoffs.
“That part? What, the lied to my entire life part? I’m sorry, who the fuck are you to judge?” My anger rises, but with it, so does a vibration of energy, an echo, and for the first time since waking up, I feel my power. I turn back to my empty bowl and reach for the pendant. It’s no longer cold, but warming, gently. I swallow my relief, not wanting to let Fenix know.
“In my experience, people lie for a reason,” he says, as if that’s a defence. “Sometimes even a good one. They can have good intentions.”
“Are you seriously standing there talking to me about good intentions? Like you had good intentions towards Micah. Or Calix.”
“My intention on both those occasions was towards you, not them. I think you’ll find I’m extremely loyal. A trait, I can already see we share, Sister.”
“Please don’t call me that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I still don’t know if I can believe you or not. You said you’d give me answers, and I’ve heard nothing.”
He pauses and shifts his weight from one leg to the other, as if he’s uncomfortable being shown a flaw or weakness. “Fine. What would you like to know?”
I swivel in my seat and stare at him. “How long is the journey, and where are we going, and what do you want from me?” His green eyes flash, for just a moment, but that’s all I need. They aren’t the questions he was expecting I’d ask, and I know my reasons for holding back. There’s a list of them I’d be happy to scribble down so I don’t forget a single one, but standing tall at the front of the queue is the fact that I’m not ready to accept anything he says as truth. Not yet. And if he starts to tell me about my parents, I’m going to hate him. And them. And nothing he says will mean anything to me, even if it’s the truth.
“You know, I think I’ll come back when you’re prepared to take this seriously.” He turns, but eyes me for a moment, and lets the brotherly façade he’s been practising since we boarded, slip.
“I’m sorry, you’re angry?” I check.
“No, not angry. Disappointed. I’ve been waiting a long time for this, and you squander my generosity with inane questions.”The door opens, and the sound of the lock clicks back into place before I can change his mind.
At least I beat him. I held back and didn’t take all the bait.
The pitch and sway of the boat is surprisingly relaxing. It even distracts me enough from the situation to close my eyes and focus on the gentle hum of my power returning. It’s slow, as if waking up from a deep sleep. The kind that makes you wish you could close your eyes and fall back under. The well at the centre of my chest feels sluggish, and I wonder if it’s because I’m not in Kirrasia anymore—if this is what Ten described when he crossed the border into Estereah.
It doesn’t dissuade me from picturing Kyra sitting next to me on the bed, helping me to focus and channel my power. Because if there’s ever been a time when I need it, it’s now. I need all of it. Every drop, every sip, every spark that I’ve built up from training, to be able to try and push my mind and find Ten. To let him know I’m safe. To make surehe’ssafe.
And maybe to warn him. Because I can’t deny how terrifying Fenix is. Especially when he turns his magic on me.
First, I need to work out if he is telling the truth, and if I can do anything against him when my power returns.
