This is not the conversation I thought I would be having.
“He saw Elex tear Kirrasia apart. Many friends died. And he stood against them, your father. He was a Warrior. That was his duty, but Elex was a friend. We all knew them.”
“Them? Ever’s parents?” I ask, piecing everything she’s telling me together.
“Aerith. She was so lovely. Powerful. And together, well—” Her eyes slide away as if she’s drawn to the memory.
“Well, what?”
“They divided everyone. Discourse and confusion followed. And after, your father was wracked with guilt, but more than that, fear. And it changed him. He saw, you see. He could see that what they started would never rest. His paranoia grew. I did what I could. Always. Calming him. Trying to let the ghosts ofthe past stay there. But it was such a burden. He was always so strong and refused to forget.”
“What are you telling me? I don’t understand.” I return to her side and take her hand again, but her stare has turned to the arched windows, spilling cool light into the room.
“Until your Transference. And then I couldn’t anymore. I tried. But the fear, his worry, it was too much.”
Had my mother been influencing my father for all these years? Since the Battle of Decree?
My mind races back to the confrontation in his office, when I saw the walls built around his secret. Were they his walls—his shields? Or did my mother have a hand in that?
No. He knew. He was afraid.
“He could see you with her. He was frightened of her. Feared what she could do.”
“So, he sabotaged her? Because of your past?”
She looks at me then. “He has only ever wanted what was best for you. He didn’t want you to have to protect Kirrasia, like he has.”
Those words should gut me. But I stifle a laugh. Looking at where we are, the situation and the events that have led to this, it feels like the weight of that is already on my shoulders.
“How did you do it? How did everyone just forget about such an important battle? A pivotal part of our history?”
“Guards, it wasourduty. To help keep the peace. Always keep the balance. That is what she wants—a balance to the power. So, we did what we could. But…”
“You helped to hide the battle? The one that Ever’s parents started. The one that nobody talks about, nobody wrote about or taught us.” My eyes flare wide at the confession my mother just freely gave me. And the pieces finally fall into place.
“It… got easier.”
“I bet.” And explains why no one teaches what a Fifth can do. Because the last ones nearly burned our world down. “Until Ever.”
“So much…” She closes her eyes as silent tears trace down her face. The air perfumed with her sadness.
“Mother?”
“He will only ever serve our Goddess. Protecting Kirrasia andherrule. And I lost you, anyway. I lost you!” She screams, before she starts to cry in earnest. Sobbing and cradling her head in her hands.
The sorrow tastes bitter, and it clings to me like a mist, rising and taking over. I slam my shields up, forcing them to comply as my feet edge away. How do I console her, offer any comfort after everything she’s said?
I stand and watch as my mother continues to cry, lost in my own labyrinth of lies, picking over the skeletons to find the truths. Everything has been a well-crafted secret, born out of good intent, perhaps, but that was a long time ago. Now, it’s been left to fester and been forgotten, allowed to rot. Now, the Orders will pay their own price for trusting that something this important can be covered up.
It wasn’t just the battle, but the reasons for it starting that they ignored.
“Master Ciro? You’ve returned. You shouldn’t be here. It is forbidden.” Rigel’s at the door to the sitting room, confusion furrowing his ageing brow.
“It’s alright, Rigel.”
“You can’t stay here. It’s not safe.”
“My mother.” I look back towards her, that guilt tightening its claw in my chest again. “Is she…”
