“Ten?”
“Yeah.”
“Is this real?” her voice is mumbled against me.
“I pray to the stars, it is.”
She struggles, and this time I let her as she rights herself and looks down at her stomach. The blood is still damp on her shirt,and her hands come away stained as she checks, touching and prodding her stomach.
“He stabbed me. I was dying.”
“I know.”
“I think...” She looks up at me, her eyes wide and full of fear, clouding the colour of them. I vow to rid that look from her eyes, forever. Now there’s nothing that should stand in our way.
“You’re here. That’s all that matters.”
Aslendrix took my promise literally, and I’m glad she did. All this time, I assumed the choice I had to make was to go after Ever—that was what I had to do to help shape Kirrasia, but it’s clear now that wasn’t the dilemma. The greatest decision any Kirrian can make is to sacrifice their magic, and my plea to save Ever has come at that cost. I don’t have my magic anymore. It’s not there because Aslendrix used me as an Advocate for Ever. Using my power to save her. To restore balance.
“Do you feel any different?” she asks as she shifts again so that she’s sitting to face me. Her hand creeps over my knee and then to my arm, before she reaches for my face. “I can touch you, and there’s…”
“Nothing.” I breathe and smile, adding my hand to hers and leaning into the contact until it’s not enough.
We both lean forward, my hands reaching for her, as she wraps her arms around my neck, and she kisses me. Quick, urgent, it doesn’t deepen, and she breaks into tears as she hugs me harder than she ever has before.
She might be trying to squeeze the air out of my lungs, but she makes a funny laughing noise that’s so unlike her. I don’t release her. As long as she’s happy, I’ll let her do whatever she wants because she’s here. Alive.
“I don’t have my power. It’s gone. It’s not there for me to wield,” she starts, and finally lets go of me. “Or rather, there’sa memory of it, a feeling, wound into the very fibre of my muscles.” She wiggles her fingers at me.
“Are you sure? It was gone before, when we left Nehandun,” I check, nervous to tell her it’s the same for me.
She shakes her head. “No. This is different. When I woke up from Nehandun, it felt like something was missing. Like it had been taken from me. This is calmer. Easy.” Ever looks up at the cloudy sky, as if she’s seeking an answer from above.
But there’s no obvious reply from the sky.
“Did we really just do that? Did you… bring me back?” She looks at me as if searching for something that is right in front of her.
“Yes, although I think it was Aslendrix. She took my power to balance the gift.”
Her eyes flash wide. “You don’t have your power? You… gave it up?” Her lip quivers as she asks.
“Yes. I thought the Maker meant for me to save you and bring you back to Kirrasia. But I think she meant for me to save you in a bigger way.” I fold her fingers through mine, gripping hold and concentrating on the touch I always wanted to share with her. “I don’t want to believe in fates or that the gods control our destiny. But, with you—” I release her hand, and I brush my fingers through her hair, sweeping my thumb over her cheek and dusting away the specks of ice that have remained on her skin. “With you, it’s hard not to.” I kiss the top of her head and breathe in the relief that we’re not being spun into a hundred new visions.
We survived. Of all the possibilities. Of all the futures. We’re still here. Fighting. Together.
“Want to stay up here?”I think the words in my mind, but as I scramble to find the tether of our connection, the line we could use to speak to each other, with no magic, I realise it’s gone.
“Ten?” The sadness in her voice tells me she’s figured it out, too. “We can’t speak into each other’s minds anymore.”
“My magic was the price I paid for you. I have no regrets. We might not be able to talk and sense each other’s emotions, but I can do this without having to shield from you.” I place my hand over her heart and run it up to cover the burn mark at her neck.
My thumb takes her pulse, able to feel it beat, strong, vital. Alive.
We sit in stunned disbelief, gathering the facts of our new reality. So much has happened, but I sense Ever’s restlessness.
“As much as I’d love to keep it just us, we need to go back to The Court. We don’t know what they’re facing.”
“You’ve done enough. What happened to not fighting the Orders? Besides, we won’t be any help to them. No magic. No strength.” I wrestle the part of me that always relied on my magic. It’s been a part of me for as long as I can remember. Now, it barely registers. A shadow. A memory. Still. At rest, almost.
