I collapse to my knees and sob, unburdened by keeping my sorrow inside any longer. I stay outside of the cottage until my body is stone cold and my tears are dry.
The sun shines watery light through the trees, and it glints off the water.
I’ve come here every day since I returned. But I’ve not ventured any farther. This is where I came—the limit to my exploration—before.
Now, it serves as a reminder of what’s beyond, and I’m terrified of taking that step. Maybe terrified isn’t accurate. I’m paralysed, unable to take that step. My memory assaults me, like a warning bell of everything that happened when I left. All the bad, all the pain, hurtling together, taking aim at my courage and slicing through it like paper.
So, I stay close to the cottage.
Lyle likes it that way, too. Her eyes follow me like a shadow around the house. She checks I’m eating but doesn’t force me to do anything. And she doesn’t hover when I come here.
After all, what could happen here that I’ve not already endured?
There’s a spot I’ve claimed as mine, on a gentle slope that I can sit on, and I run a stick through the sediment and mud, swirling it, pulling the water in little currents this way and that.
It makes me think of the Elementals. The Naturals. The gifts they have.
And everything makes me think of Ten.
“You left something behind.”
Ten’s voice cuts through the trickle of the running water, and I spin my head to see him standing a few meters away.
“Ten.” I stand, but he crowds me, prowling forward with a mean look on his face.
“Here.” He grabs my hand, and I open it, allowing him to drop the small pink quartz stone into my palm.
My eyes glaze over with tears, stinging my eyes as I focus on the small item. The one thing that’s mine. I’ve spent a long time crying these past few days and thought I’d cried myself out.
Obviously not.
“You left it on the dresser in my room. My guess is you put it there when you were getting ready and were in too much of a rush to leave to remember it.” I look up at him—his face still carved into an angry version of the Ten I know.
I wait for the rest. I know it’s coming, and I can’t blame him. I knew he’d be angry. I knew it was a risk, and I’m ready for the rest of his onslaught. It’s in his whole body: his ridged stance, his tight shoulders.
“And me. You fucking left me, Ever. You’d better have a fucking good explanation as to why.”
“I had to leave.” My voice is soft, belaying the enormity of the emotions storming inside of me.
“You didn’t. I know you didn’t. After everything you fought for, you couldn’t fight for me?”
“No, Ten. It wasn’t that.” My hand clenches around the pebble he brought to me instead of reaching for him, before I tuck it safely away in my pocket.
“It might take us a while to get over everything that’s happened, but I deserve the time to try. I deserve more than you leaving without a word.”
“You don’t need to keep your promise, Ten. This was never meant to be our future, with you sacrificing over and over again for me—just to be with me. I can’t do that to you. You deserve more than to leave everything behind. To be apart from everyone and everything you know, just for me.”
“And you should have given me the choice. It’s my life. My fucking choice, and I’ve made it. It’s you. It’s been you since the moment I came for you. Stars, probably before that. And if what I’ve done for you isn’t enough, then just say. But I’m not leaving here until you tell me you don’t love me. Then and only then, Little Siren, am I leaving. You got me?”
Passion ignites within me, chased by a fire that engulfs me. He sees it. He sees it in my eyes because he closes the gap and shoves me against a tree, holding me captive and at his mercy. It’s the only place I want to be, and I beg in my mind for him to make me his.
He slams his lips against mine, and I taste the punishment he has for me. It’s frantic and full of his own edge of desperation. Stars, he is delicious.
The bark of the tree digs into my back, and my body is alight with heat—with a need—sparked only from Ten.
My heart thrums in my chest for him, as if it recognises Ten and finally wants to beat again. I breathe him in, salt, citrus, and comfort, and my whole body comes alive.
My lips part, eager for him. Eager for more. I want his punishment. I want his love. All of him.
