I slide down him and pull up my trousers, alarmingly aware that I’ll need to see the apothecary in town. We’ve risked enough already.
“Say the words, and I’ll go.”
“What? After that? I thought you knew what I was saying.” I look up at him and find his eyes haven’t quite returned to his usual warm shade of hazelnut.
“You need to do better than that.”
Guilt punches me in the gut, and nausea rolls through me at what my actions have taken from him. “I love you, Ten.”
He waits for a moment. “You’re forgiven.” He kisses my forehead.
While I’m still riding the high of my climax, I gather my courage to ask the harder question. “This doesn’t change anything. What will we do? Where will we go?”
“We have the rest of our lives to figure that out. I’m in no rush. We deserve some quiet.” He mumbles the words into my hair, not ready to stop planting kisses on me.
“You’re sure.” I pull back from him.
“As long as you’re still there with me, it doesn’t matter what future we have, Ever. It might take you a little while to accept that, but I won’t stop showing you. I promise you that. Nothing else matters.”
epilogue
. . .
Aten
Ipull the packs from Nettle and set them next to the small stable before removing his saddle and releasing him into the field. He plods off to graze on the grass and take a rest in the dappled shade at the edge of his enclosure, where Sara is.
I was worried they’d try and make their way back to Kirrasia after we arrived, but Nettle has been faithful to us—or rather to Ever—since we got here.
The supplies will last us another few weeks, and our own garden is doing well. I pass the planters we built to grow a few of our own crops, and I walk down the narrow path carved into the rock to our house, nestled on the edge of the cliff overlooking the water.
I know where I’ll find her—the sun’s high in the sky, burning with all its might—so she’ll be watching. Watching the ocean. Watching the light dance over the waves. Sure enough, she’s sitting in the wooden chair, perched on the edge, staring out to sea.
Her hair catches in the breeze and shines red and copper in the light, and I feel the familiar pull towards her as I take her in.
We have no neighbours here, nobody to ask questions. It’s just us—a simple life. But I refuse to cut us off like Ever first wanted. We’re not alone. It’s a short ride to Orasia or to Lyle’s, and we needed the help. Building a house from scratch was fucking hard, even with my coins doing the heavy lifting.
It gave Ever a purpose, and she needed that. Her grief nearly swallowed her. After I came for her, after the initial few weeks, she slipped into a darkness that terrified Lyle and me. She became consumed by doubt, guilt, and it ate at all the fight she had.
Threatening to take her back to Kirrasia was the only thing that seemed to cut through her haze. Despite the graves, despite all that happened there, she refuses to go back. Even for Kyra. Even for Calix.
She’s still fighting her demons, her memories, and her nightmares, and I think she might always be.
So when the sun is high and burning hot, I let her watch the water.
I know it’s because she fears whatever she and Aslendrix did might not hold strong, and that one day, the threat of Novandia’s power returning might be realised, and that’s what she’s waiting for, but I won’t live with that over our heads.
She deserves a full life, not a half-life, waiting for something to go wrong.
We both do.
“I’m back!”
She lifts her hand and waves to acknowledge me, but doesn’t stop her vigil of the sea.
“I bring treats.”
Her eyes light up at that, glinting with that spark I love so much. It shouldn’t be a surprise; I bring these back for her everytime I go to town. They are her favourite, and I’m just glad there’s a decent bakery in Orasia.
