I nudge Nettle’s flank, and we set off. The edge of the cliffs ensures our path stays true.
“Look, Ten,” Calix approaches, and Nettle neighs at how close Calix is.
“Easy, boy.” I smooth down his neck to settle him and give Calix a pointed look.
“Hey, it was your idea to take horses.”
I don’t respond.
“Fine. I wanted to let you know that I’m with you until we get her back, that’s all. I let you down, and I want to make amends.” He turns his eyes away and keeps focused on anything but me.
“What?” How could he think that?
“You asked me to look out for her, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t… do more.”
“Hey, I shouldn’t have asked you in the first place. That’s on me. And I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you were there for her. And that you’ve healed.” It’s bad enough to think about Ever in danger. Losing my best friend trying to protect her would gut me. And I realise that’s exactly the position they’re in again now.
“Look, you don’t have anything to make up for, if that’s why you’re here. The Orders won’t forget this. There’s still time to turn back.”
“Like Zuns. I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s not just you who wants answers, Ten. This is bigger than just Ever. But I have a feeling she’s going to be the key to everything.”
I never give him credit. I fucking should.
“And, while we’re on the subject, what exactly is your plan? If wegetto Ever?”
“When, Calix. It’s got to be when.” My heart, that space in my chest that’s reserved just for her, anxious that she’s not in touching distance, pounds in time with my voice. “But if we’re being honest?” I take a breath, trying to calm the fear lurking beneath everything, and hoping that his opinion won’t alter, knowing that I have no fucking clue how to do this. “I don’t know. Getting to Lyle is the first step, and I’m kind of trusting Aslendrix and the whole fucking world that the rest will come to us.”
“Well, yeah. Fine. But so you know, we’re going to need more firepower. That man—her brother—wasn’t messing. If he’s like Ever, and it felt like he was, or at least closer to her than any of us, then we’re going to have to work on a way to incapacitate him, or find his weakness, because I don’t think we’ll be enough otherwise.” The anguish in Calix’s voice is painful to hear. And worse than that, it’s fucking terrifying that there’s someone with that much power, that much strength, that can shut down the strongest of us. And he’s the one holding Ever.
It’s humbling to hear Calix talk like that and only stokes the fire in me to get this done, setting my determination in stone.
Conversation quietens, and we see the terrain turn dry and barren as we travel into the Ember, and it reminds me of the time I came out here to find Ever for the first time. If only this were as simple. My mind starts running over all the possible scenarios and reasons why they’ve taken her. All the conversations with the Maker and the bigger secrets my father was hiding knit and weave together in my mind, but they don’t form anything clear or legible, like I’m grasping for smoke, and the closer I get, the harder it is to catch.
As we cross the distance of the Ember, the sun begins to fall in the sky, giving us the cover of darkness to cross out of Kirrasia. Perhaps Aslendrixison our side.
As our Goddess rises into the sky, and the darkness turns dusk into the dead of night, we wait, positioned out of range of the watch tower and the border.
I don’t even have to ask Crimson to scout it out. She’s off her horse before any of us, and gone into the sea of nothingness, happy to use her speed to her advantage as we wait with the horses. It takes her no time to come back to our position, even in the dark.
“It’s clear.”
“Clear?” Kyra’s disbelief rings out as loud as a bell.
“Clear. No scouts. Just the camp. It’s like the officers have left their posts.”
“I can’t see your father sanctioning that, even if it means helping us.”
It’s hard to read Crimson, let alone in the middle of the night, but as I concentrate and focus on her, there are no feelings, no emotion that I’m picking up. She’s not hiding anything, and I feel like a jerk for even doubting her.
We choose to take the advantage and pass the watch tower with no opposition. No challenge, no arrows flying after us. It’s too easy, and the questions fire in my mind about what Crimson’s agreed with her father, or what her father’s agreed with the Orders. But that is something for tomorrow.
“Is it… meant to feel like this?” Kyra asks.
“Like you’ve lost a piece of you, and you’re not sure where it’s gone?” Calix offers.
“Kind of,” she replies.
“I guess. I’ve only crossed that time to get to Ten.”
