When I was in Kirrasia, I hoped I’d finished figuring out who to trust and who not to. My thirst for the truth was a weakness. Lyle had made it my weakness by sheltering me from everything. Yet, despite knowing all of this, I have to hear what he has to say. I need the pieces of information, even if they might be tainted with time and poison.
Turning, I’m relieved to see it’s only Fenix with me, and I take a deep breath and follow towards the small camp where the Usher welcomed me when I arrived.
Kalan’s already sat on one of the logs, but stands as I approach.
“Do you have to be here for this?” Kalan grunts at Fenix.
“Yes, who else is going to provide the measure for your words, Kalan? I know you’re lenient with the truth.”
“You don’t get to dictate this, Kalan. You’ve had the chance to talk to me—every time you visited us when I was growing up,” I say.
He nods, and a soft smile lurks behind his scruffy beard. “Fair.”
I take a seat as far away from him as possible. But before I ask him my first question, I push my power towards Ten, a mental pull on our connection, to give me the courage knowing he’s here with me.
“Why did you tell Fenix so much when you chose to keep everything a secret from me. Did Lyle know, too?”
“Lyle only knew that you needed a home—someone to care for you. She was a Watcher and had been living in Estereah for only a short time. She was sheltered from much of what went on leading up to the fight.”
“But why? Why didyouask a stranger to look after a baby?” None of this was making any sense.
“Your parents came to me while they were in exile from The Chamber for betraying the command of the Orders. They were on the brink of war and needed to protect you. Both of you.” He looks between us, and even Fenix has lost his ego at Kalan’s words. “I gave them my word that I would see you safe. Both of you. And that I would protect you. A vow like that isn’t one that I take lightly. And I don’t intend to stop, even though you are now both of age.”
There’s too much of what he’s just said that I want to latch onto, but I opt for the simplest of follow-ups. “Of age?”
“You have undergone your Transference, Ever. You are of age according to Kirrian rule.”
“But Fenix hasn’t. He wasn’t taken to Kirrasia?” I check.
“No. The Usher saw to Fenix’s training. When Fenix started his awakening, the Usher chose to risk Fenix’s power and channel it in a different way, under Novandia’s rule, rather than Aslendrix.”
Why weren’t we kept together? Why didn’t Lyle take us both? If Kalan knew my parents, why didn’t anyone warn me about magic, about my powers? The storm of questions invades mymind and rains down on me, each one beating in my chest to be set free.
But above all, there is one question. One truth I need to know.
“My parents. Where are they? Why didn’t we go back to them?” Fenix has teased and dangled information that I would have done anything to have, bartering it away as freely as if it were scraps of unwanted food instead of the treasure it was. He knows the answer to this, yet hasn’t shared, and I hate him for that most of all.
“They couldn’t. Their… sacrifice was the greatest.”
My heart stutters. “Why, Kalan?” I press, but I fear the words he’ll say next, because I know the answer.
He looks at Fenix, who has hung his head, the flames of the fire dancing light over his silhouette, highlighting the russet colours of his hair.
“They’re dead.” His voice is softer than I’ve heard, as if that can make up for the hammer blow of his words to my heart. “I’m sorry, Ever.”
“It’s fine. I didn’t know them.” The lie chokes in my throat, strangling my heart as I stand up and walk away.
“Don’t wander too far, Sister.”
“Fuck you, Fenix.”
I stride off, not knowing in what direction I’m travelling, but needing to be alone, to let the information sink in.
“Are you okay?”Ten’s voice is at the back of my mind.“You feel… sad.”Sad. Such a small word, and wholly insufficient for how big my emotions are right now.“Even here, I can feel you, although it’s as if you’re a long way away.”
“I’m fine.”
“Don’t lie. You hate them. I hate them.”
