Kalan pauses and turns back to us. “Not as simple as that, deary.”
“Might not be simple, but we need to know, if it comes to it, which one will you protect? Because she’s not going to do what they ask willingly. You might not be able to keep them both safe.”
I wait for his next move, but he just stands, motionless. I edge a whisper of power towards him, wanting to pick up on what he’s feeling more than anything else. Influencing him or even getting inside his mind without being noticed is a challenge I’m not ready for here.
Just like before, there’s no sense of emotion from him. I’m reading nothing.
“Keep yourselves alive. In case you’re not keeping count, the full moon is in two days. You’ll have to be prepared for a fight after that. If I know the Usher, he’ll be waiting for his chance. The new moon will give him a shot for Ever to pull magic from Novandia. Fenix will be back in a couple of days.”
“I’m prepared for a fight.” I know it’s coming. I only wish there were more time to recover.
“Any tips, Kalan, because I have no confidence in the healers keeping us alive for that long,” Crimson asks.
“Do as he says. But remember, his dominant power is from Novandia. Ever’s is from Aslendrix.”
“So?” Crimson’s hands wring the bars as if she’s imagining them around someone’s neck.
“So, he’s only deadly during daylight.” And with that, he walks off into the darkness.
twenty-one
. . .
Ever
Sweat races down the valley of my spine as I focus, but nothing happens.
“Again, Ever.”
“I’m trying.” My teeth grind together, and I add my jaw to the list of parts of me that ache.
“You aren’t. I can’t even feel you,” the Usher taunts as he stands opposite, expecting me to do something, perhaps like I did in the training ring.
“If you would just let me?—”
“No. You have to be able to do this without touch. You can.” The Usher’s voice screeches as he grows tired of ‘instructing’ me.
How he expects me to close the tear of light and dark he’s created in the sky above him, I have no fucking idea. Especially as everything I’ve manifested as a physical reaction here has been dark. Shadowy.
The voice from Ascella screaming at me that I’m death is pretty fucking loud here.
I need to rest. All day. I feel empty. My mind is clouded with doubt, and I can’t even imagine being able to do any of the things I know I already have, let alone what Fenix is able to, with this constant emptiness filling me up.
“Show me. How did Fenix learn?” The words crack as I ask.
“You fall back on the limits of your magic. Instead of embracing the possibilities.”
I turn my back to him, his voice, the pebble to ripple the anger inside of me and disturb my calm. It’s only my depleted energy keeping it from ruling over me. That, and the agreement I made with Ten and Crimson. I can’t do anything that would put that in jeopardy.
“If you could just teach me. Or let Fenix teach me. Instructing me to focus and concentrate and project my power is not good enough,” I snap.
“Novandia is all around. He is in the very light that shines over the world. He does not limit or require balance.”
I know this. It feels like they have such a hang-up on power and having it limited by Aslendrix, that they need to constantly remind themselves, as if they don’t, they might forget why they are doing all of this.
“You can already use your power without touch. I’ve seen you. You just need to focus on that ability and channel it. Work it like a muscle. Train it to do more.” His voice peels off, leaving me with a sense of understanding. It reminds me of what Calix told me. Only that’s not how it manifests in me. In Kirrasia, every touch, every combination of power felt like it replenished my own energy. Without that same touch and connection, here, when I try to use my power, I’m dredging the bottom of the well, pulling on something that’s already empty. It doesn’t work.
When I entered Orion’s memory, it was by accident. I was trying to gethimto focus on the one intention that Aten was innocent and not to banish him.
