The house felt different during the day. It was calm but not the peaceful kind. It was the quiet that let your thoughts get too loud, the kind that made you notice everything you usually ignore. My ears noticed everything. The ticking of the clock in the kitchen, the soft hum of the refrigerator, and the way I could hear the water moving in the body of water we had placed behind our house. I sat at the dining table with my hands wrapped around a warm cup of tea. I watched as the steam curled into the air, and my mind wandered in a hundred different directions. Across from me, my sister leaned back in her chair like she didn’t have a care in the world. One of her legs crossed over the other. She was ladylike just like me, but at the same damn time, as fuck. She was everything that I used to be. Becoming a mother and wife had softened me, but not her.
Tori lifted her cup, took a slow sip, then shook her head with a smirk tugging at her lips.
“Eternity,” she said, dragging my name out just enough to let me know something was coming, “why you got me over here drinking tea in the middle of the day like we in some royal court?”
I raised an eyebrow at her, already knowing she wasn’t done.
“This ain’t noBridgertonepisode,” she added, gesturing around the room like she was expecting somebody in a corset to walk through the door. “Where’s the wine? Where’s the liquor? Where’s therealconversation?”
Despite everything sitting on my mind, I let out a small laugh while shaking my head.
“You always got something to say.”
“Because you are always giving me something to talk about,” she shot back quickly while setting her cup down. “You invite me over for tea like we’re about to gossip politely, and the whole time I know you got something on your mind.”
She wasn’t wrong. She never was. I exhaled slowly while my fingers tightened slightly around the cup before I set it down in front of me.
“It’s just been a lot,” I admitted.
“It’s everything with the shops… Malik’s been stressed. I’ve been trying to keep things calm in here with these kids.”
Tori’s expression shifted slightly, still playful, but with a layer of understanding underneath it.
“Yeah, well, Sha ain’t been home either,” she said while rolling her eyes as she leaned forward, “that man has been acting as if he lives at them auto shops. Every time I call him, he is talking about trying to figure out who hit the place like he’s the police or something. I had to tell his ass to let them do their job. Just the other day, I asked this officer if I could borrow his damn mace, and he looked at me like I was crazy. Shit, I paid for it because I pay taxes.”
I let out a small chuckle because she always had to say something. Once I got my laugh out, I responded.
“Whoever robbed the place took bricks of coke, I don’t think they want the police to know that,” I said in a sarcastic tone before getting serious, “Plus, Sha is like Malik, he’s a man. He’staking being robbed very personally. Of course, he’s going to want answers.”
“Yeah, well, I want him home,” she muttered while crossing her arms. “I ain’t sign up to be in a relationship with a damn phantom.”
That made me laugh a little more, because she had always been bratty. My smile didn’t quite reach the weight sitting on my chest. Because while she was joking… there was truth in it. There was distance in this house lately. And I felt it. I leaned back slightly in my chair, letting out a slow breath before saying something I hadn’t really said out loud yet.
“Malik and I,” I paused for a second to choose my words carefully. “We’ve been talking about having a baby.”
Tori stared at me like the white guy blinking meme. She was caught off guard. I could tell because her usual quick comeback was delayed. She knew that when it came to kids, we had been through a lot, so I knew this news was surprising.
“A baby?” she repeated, sitting up straighter now. “For real?”
I nodded with a small smile that touched my lips despite everything else. My mind was made up. So much so that I had discontinued my birth control pills. I really wanted this for me. I really wanted this for us.
“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I’m just trying to figure out timing with everything going on.”
“So let me get this straight…” she started. I just knew something was coming behind her bent brow and smirk she wore on her face, “let me get this straightttttt,” she dragged, “y’all about to have one kid go away for college and then have a baby. This new baby is going to be the kids’ grand sister or brother.”
I damn near spat my tea out because I was laughing so hard. For a moment, the weight of everything felt lighter. Like maybe something good could still grow in the middle of everything else.In the middle of my husband scouring the streets for revenge, my son leaving for college, my daughter dating, and my youngest threatening little girls at school with belts. But just as quick as that feeling settled in, music filled the house. It was loud and sudden.
It cut through the house so sharply that it made both of us jump. The sound carried from upstairs like it had been turned up with intention. My heart dropped instantly because I knew that song. “I Wish I Wasn’t” by Heather Headley filled the house, heavy with emotion. Every note was soaked in heartbreak. Tori looked at me, I looked at her, and we both knew.
“That girl is going through it,” Tori said, already pushing her chair back.
I was on my feet before she even finished the sentence. Because that wasn’t just music. That was pain. We moved quickly as we headed for the stairs without another word. The sound got louder with every step. The beat and lyrics wrapped around us like a warning we both understood too well. When it came to anguish, my sister and I headlined the story of pain for years.
Music was always a go-to when either one of us was feeling something. Because there are certain songs you don’t play like that unless your heart is breaking. And as I reached the top of the stairs, I was already worried because I knew one thing for sure: something was wrong with my daughter. By the time we made it upstairs, the music had taken over the entire hallway, pouring out of Maliah’s room like it had a life of its own. When I made it to her door, I didn’t knock. I just pushed it open. And there she was, curled up in her bed with blankets wrapped around her like she was trying to hold herself together. Her body was turned slightly toward the wall, but I could still get a glimpse of her perfect face.
Her eyes were closed like she was somewhere else entirely. The sunlight coming through her window barely touched her, like even the day couldn’t reach her in that moment. The song was right at the chorus, and her voice was soft and broken, but still followed every word. It filled in the spaces between the original track.
“I wish I wasn’t in love with you… so you couldn’t hurt me…”
