The room smells like men and sex, and the silence glows now, all the earlier sparks burned down to something deeper.
“That felt official.” Buck’s voice is low in the dim room, and I laugh, though I’m surprised my body has the energy to produce the sound.
Weston’s fingers trace lazy circles against my side. “Official,” he agrees.
Calder makes a sleepy sound that might be a laugh, too. “Pretty sure there are easier ways to definea relationship.”
“I liked this way,” I murmur, making all three of them chuckle.
Buck strokes my back in an uncharacteristically lazy way. “So did I.”
I lift my head enough to look at each of them, one by one. “I meant what I said,” I tell them.
Buck’s hand stills. “So did we.”
“You didn’t actually say anything, though,” I tease. “I’m an educator. Use your words.”
Calder laughs more fully as Buck lifts his head and tips my chin so I’m looking directly at him.
“I love you,” he says. There’s no hesitation and no qualifier. I already knew it in my heart, but hearing the words makes emotion swell so hard my chest suddenly aches.
Weston leans in and presses a kiss to my shoulder. “I love you, too.”
“I’m in this,” Calder says in a rough voice. “For real. For however long we get. I love you.”
My eyes sting, and I don’t try to hide it.
Buck brushes his thumb under my eyes to catch the tears. “No crying after sex.”
“That’s not a real rule.” I’m smiling through the tears.
“It is now,” Calder says.
Weston kisses my cheek, then the corner of my mouth. “You’re outnumbered.”
I tuck myself further into the warm center of them and let out a long breath. “Just the way I want it.”
For the first time since Tyler died, I feel like I’m inside my life again, fully alive. I feel rooted and chosen.
We all chose each other, and we’ll face whatever is waiting out in the darkness in a way we couldn’t before tonight.
Together. As a family.
CHAPTER 40
BUCK
Somewhere along the way, my office at the station turned into a command post, with topographic maps covering the walls and desk, and hand-drawn layouts of the school, street grids, and access roads spread through the middle of it.
I’ve noted distances, ridge lines, tree cover, and sightlines. I’ve marked all the places a shooter could disappear if he knew what he was doing.
Now, I stand in the middle of it and make myself review the whole thing again.
The firehouse sits on slightly higher ground at the center of town, with open approaches on two sides and enough equipment inside to hold if we have to. With its thick concrete walls, limited entrances, trauma bags, and tools, this place could be a fortress, depending on how ugly things get.
The school is harder. It has too many doors and too muchglass. There are too many places to hide and too many small bodies to move quickly.
The gym, where the science fair will be held, is the worst part of it. One big room, filled with tables and projects, families packed shoulder to shoulder, and enough noise to cover an approach. It would be the perfect target for a man who wanted to make a spectacle of his violence.
