“Why?” I asked.
CHAPTER 20
Kobal
I saw the minute understanding came overRiver, saw the shock sliding across her face, but more than that, Icould see the betrayal burning in her beautiful violet eyes as sheturned toward me.
I’d tried to keep her protected from theknowledge of the possibility of immortality for her. I didn’t wanther to choose death and a possible severing of her connection withthe Earth and its life forces because of me. She shouldn’t have theknowledge that she could become immortal also resting on heralready burdened shoulders.
Now, I realized I may have made a hugemistake by keeping it from her, if the look on her face was anyindication. I’d been looking to protect her; instead, I’d slicedher deeply.
My claws extended to cut into my palms as Ifisted my hands, causing blood to well forth. I wanted to tearMagnus apart for inadvertently revealing this to her, butultimately, this was not his fault. It was mine. I realized now,there had never been any keeping this secret, and even if Magnushadn’t said anything, she and Hawk would have asked why Hawk couldwithstand Hell when none of the others could.
“Why?” River asked me in a flat voice.
“Because I felt it was better you didn’tknow.”
She blinked at my blunt response. Her faceremained void of emotion, but turmoil rolled off her in waves. Shewas my Chosen; I was supposed to protect her and do everything Icould to make her happy, yet I was the one who had caused her thisunhappiness.
We were intertwined with each other.However, she was not a demon, at least not a full one. She felt theintensity of our bond, and she’d repeatedly marked me as hers, butshe could walk away, leave me and this relationship. She’d done sobefore. It may break her heart, but losing her would drive memad.
“I did not want you to have the choice,” Isaid.
Confusion filled her eyes. Then a look ofabject misery descended over her and her chin rose. “I see.”
“That’s not… I didn’t mean that the way itsounded.” I couldn’t think of the words to explain why I’d keptthis from her. I wasn’t one for words and emotions; I was one foraction. This was treacherous territory for me, but so much rode onmy ability to handle it well. I was fucked. “You’re not entirelyhuman, River. This is not an option for you.”
Fury glistened in her eyes. “No, it’snot.”
Hawk’s lips pressed together as he glancedbetween the two of us before taking a step away from her. Theothers had retreated to safe distances, but they all lookednervously toward the door in the back of the room. Keeping to thewall, Hawk made his way toward where they had gathered at the endof the table.
“It’s not what you think,” I said frombetween clenched teeth.
“Nothing ever is,” she repliedflippantly.
“No, it’s not,” Magnus said as he watchedRiver. “You are Lucifer’s offspring after all, his daughter. Noneof us fully know what you are capable of now, never mind what youcould be capable of as a full demon.”
“I don’t need your help,” I growled athim.
He looked pointedly between me and River.“You just might.”
“My father gave about as much care for me ashe would a bug beneath his shoe,” River said to Magnus. “But he wasnotLucifer.”
“If Lucifer created your line, then youarehis offspring.”
I thought River might hit him with a ball offire as her eyes noticeably darkened, her shoulders hunched, andflames sputtered around her fingertips. She shot a loathing glaremy way when I moved to stand in-between them, causing Magnus tolaugh.
“Oh, Kobal, what a steaming pile of shityou’ve stepped into on this one,” Magnus said. “If Lucifer knows ofher existence, he will come for her, and he will do whatever he canto take her.”
“He knows we’ve found her, and if he triesto take her from me, he also knows I will tear him apart limb fromlimb,” I vowed.
“Judging by the look on her face right now,she may choose daddy dearest over you.”
I glanced at River who stared at me as ifshe were trying to figure out how to get as far from me aspossible.
Mine. No matter how angry or hurt shewas right now, that would never change.
She stared at me for a minute more beforedismissively turning away from me. My teeth ground together as Iresisted the impulse to grab her, to make her understand.
