She lay rigid for a minute before relaxing back against him. His arms were like steel around her, but she knew that he would release her if she asked him to. He lifted her chin and kissed her. The brief touch sent a wave of warmth through her that dissolved her remaining anxiety. Never had anyone been so kind to her. Her body yearned for his touch in a way that it never had with anyone else.
He pulled away from her to stare at her. He seemed to be searching for something, but for what, she didn't know. His hands wrapped into her hair, drawing her against him as he kissed her. She melted against him, her body on fire as their tongues touched and teased. His kiss gradually became deeper and more urgent.
She had never felt like this, she hadn't known that anything could feel like this. An involuntary moan escaped her as she held on to his solid, well-muscled back. He groaned and nibbled at her lip as his hand caressed her neck, then her collarbone. She gasped when he cupped her breast. She moaned as he teased her nipple into a taut bud while his mouth kept firm possession of hers. She was certain that nothing had ever felt this wonderful, this good, and she was afraid that she would catch on fire from the sheer pleasure of it.
A loud bang in the hallway caused her to jump. With the contact broken, reality crashed down on her. She shouldn't be here, shouldn't be doing this. If anything, she had learned from past mistakes how quickly things could get out of control. How rapidly she could be betrayed. Her breath came in rapid pants as memories washed over her.
He brushed a loose strand of hair off her face. She flinched involuntarily and his hand instantly fell away. She rolled away before she could see the disgust that was sure to follow her reaction in his eyes. Putting her head in her hands, she fought against sobbing out her self-loathing. She hated this weakness.
She wished that she could be normal, that she could be like everyone else. She wished that night had never happened. She had tried to forget about it, but she couldn't. It was always in the back of her mind, constantly haunting her; chasing her. Now, she'd met someone that she truly liked, that made her feel things she had never imagined she could, and she was going to lose him. No guy, no matter how nice, would choose to be with someone who flinched every time he touched her.
"Sera," he whispered.
He sat up and laid his hands on her shoulders. She turned her head so that he couldn't see her face. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"For what?"
She shook her head, her long hair falling forward to obscure what little of her face he had been able to see. A small tremor shook her, but she refused to look at him. He took hold of her chin with his thumb and index finger. He turned her head, forcing her to look at him.
"There is nothing to be sorry for," he said firmly. "Okay?" She nodded, but self-loathing still filled her eyes. He was unsure of what to say, or do. "I won't do anything that you don't want to do."
Her eyes flicked over his face as she thought over his words and tried to figure out if he was telling the truth or not. He seemed to be telling her the truth. He had to be. She was sitting with him, alone in a dark room, and he was making no move to do anything to harm her. Instead, he was only trying to reassure and comfort her.
"There's no rush," he assured her. "I'll wait until you're comfortable, until you're ready."
She had to fight back the wave of tears that flooded her eyes. "Wait?" she managed to choke out through the lump in her throat.
He smiled. "Yes, wait. I like you Sera. I want to be with you, with, or without sex. Understand?"
Her eyes widened as his words sank in. He could have almost any girl, at any time, why would he choose to wait for her? For someone who shrank away from him? For someone who was broken? She simply couldn't believe what she was hearing, but he seemed so honest, so sincere, and she truly wanted to believe him.
"Why?" she had to ask.
He stared at her as she tried to figure it out for himself. He liked her, he knew that, but he had liked girls before. Though none of them had ever made him feel the way that she did. None of them had made him feel so protective before. And none of them had managed to arouse him as much as she did with just a look, or a kiss. He was rigid right now, yet he was telling her that he would wait for her.
It would be better for her if he left now, walked downstairs, and found the first girl he could take his lust out on. Instead, he found himself going limp at the thought. He was suddenly certain that they wouldn't be able to satisfy him and that only she would be able to. Although they had just met, and he barely knew her, she helped to ease the loneliness of his bleak existence, and he was not going to let her go. He would have to someday, but not yet.
"Because I want to be with you. Okay?" he asked with a small smile.
She managed to smile back at him as her heart filled with happiness. He had to be too good to be true. But right now, she didn't care. His thumb stilled on her chin as he leaned forward and kissed her. He pulled back and smiled warmly as he held his arms out to her. She didn't hesitate as she fell into them. He hugged her against his chest, his chin resting on her head. To her amazement she realized that she had never felt so safe before.
"Can I ask you something?" he inquired.
"Sure, what?"
"You may not like it, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to."
She nestled closer to his warmth. "Then ask."
"What happened to you before?"
Her breath froze in her lungs, as her heart began to beat a turbulent staccato in her chest. "What do you mean?" she asked, trying to keep the tremor from her voice.
He stroked her hair. "I mean, what happened to make you so frightened?"
Agony tore through her as memories threatened to rush forth. Resolutely she turned her attention away from the past, and made herself focus on the here and now.
"You don't have to answer me," he reminded her.
