“You’re all idiots,” Lucien chimed in.
Whatever else they said was lost to David ashe stepped out of the gym. Following Mia’s inherent rose scent, hemade his way down the hall to the outside door. The cold airslapped him in the face when he pushed the door open. The windblowing across the ground lifted the snow until it swirled in theair around him in dancing flakes as he walked.
He stopped outside the door to the mainhouse, frowning as he sniffed at the air. He turned away from thedoor when he realized Mia hadn’t gone back inside. Following herscent, he walked around the building toward the side yard.
He found her standing beneath the boughs ofthe tree she could see from her room. As he walked closer to it, herealized that it was a large maple. Mia stared into the tree as acardinal hopped through the numerous branches.
“You know they say a cardinal is therepresentative of a loved one coming to visit you,” Mia said whenDavid stepped beside her. She’d heard his footsteps in the snow,but she would have known he was there before she’d heard him. Herskin had become electrified the second he’d turned the corner ofthe mansion.
David watched the bird as it continued todescend, moving through the branches as if it were enticed by hertoo. And why wouldn’t it be? Her soul may be battered, but thestrength of it radiated from her. He had a feeling she didn’t knowhow strong she truly was.
“I’ve heard that,” he replied.
“My mother loved birds. If anyone were tocome back for a visit, it would be her. Or with as close as theywere, maybe my parents hitched a ride on the same bird.”
A wistful smile tugged at the corners of herlips as the cardinal stopped a few feet above her. It tilted itshead back and forth, studying her. David had never put muchcredence into the idea, but with the way the cardinal watched her,he started to rethink his stance on the whole thing.
“I’ve known enough mated vampires to believethat could be true,” he admitted.
“Growing up around the kind of love theyhad, I used to dream of finding a mate for myself one day. I’dalways known I could go my entire life without meeting my mate, butI’d also known it was possible he was out there, waiting for me. Iwould have waited for him forever. Then the fire tore my worldapart, and I no longer dreamed of anything. Dreams are forchildren. I stopped being a child that night.”
David studied her profile as she watched thebird moving ever lower. The cold had caused a redness to creepacross the cheeks of her heart-shaped face. Her full mouth pursedas her head tilted to the other side while she watched the bird.The small point to her chin gave her an air of determination.
He shoved his hands into the pockets of hissweats to keep from brushing the hair back from her face when thewind blew it forward. “Where did you go after the fire?” heasked.
“Everywhere and nowhere,” she replied. “Ihad nowhere to go. No one to turn to. My parents had some vampirefriends over the years, but not many. They had a falling out with aman who was a close friend of theirs shortly after we moved intothe house that caught on fire. They lost contact with others overtime, and two were killed by hunters.”
Mia pushed back her hair before continuing.“At first, I was too devastated after the fire to think clearly,and I found myself wandering the streets of Hartford. To this day,I still have no memory of how I got to the city. We lived a goodhalf hour away from Hartford, and when I finally became aware of mysurroundings, I didn’t have a car with me.
“I had no money, no job, no shelter. I was apurebred vampire, stronger than most recently turned vamps already,but I hadn’t fully matured or completely come into my abilities atthat time. If I’d been older, I could have used my ability for mindcontrol to get an apartment, but I didn’t have enough skill with itat the time to keep up the charade.
“My mind control would sometimes last for aweek or two on a human. At other times, only a day or an hour.Maybe I could have kept doing it to someone, but who knows whatthat kind of continued manipulation to the human mind does overtime. I wasn’t willing to take the chance of inflicting permanentdamage on someone.”
“I don’t blame you,” David said when shestopped speaking.
“After my mind control wore off, and thepeople I’d been manipulating realized I didn’t belong in that hotelroom or apartment, I’d find myself back on the streets. In thebeginning, I was so heartbroken and confused that I really didn’tcare about having a place to stay or anything of my own. I didn’tknow what to do or how to handle everything that had happened tome. It was also when the panic attacks first started,” she admittedin a shamed whisper.
David’s fingers flexed as he resistedresting his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. She would jerkaway though, move farther away from him and possibly retreatinside. This was the most she’d ever opened up to him; he couldn’tdo anything to push her away. However, not being able to doanything for her was the most frustrating experience of hislife.
“I struggled to survive with the otherstreet kids, and there were a lot of them. Too many,” Miacontinued. “The emptiness in their eyes, what they had to do tosurvive, to eat, broke my heart. No matter how many times I moved,or the different cities I went to, that emptiness and thecircumstances for those kids were always the same. I was differentthan they were, yet I also fit in with them and didn’t feel quiteso alone when I was with them.
“My vampire abilities may not have beenhoned back then, but I was far more fortunate than those kids were.I was faster and stronger. I didn’t have to do the things thosehumans did to survive. I didn’t get beat up or raped. I watched outfor more than a few of them and defended them, but I also fed onthem. If you really want to feel like a piece of shit, feed fromsomeone who’s weaker and has it worse than you. It’s sobering andawful.”
“You did what you had to do to survive,”David said.
“We all do that. It doesn’t mean we alwayshave to like it, or that it’s right in any way.”
“No, but it also doesn’t mean we have tocontinuously beat ourselves up over it afterward.”
“Perhaps.” Her eyes were haunted when sheturned toward him. “I’ve never killed another.”
“I’ve killed other vampires.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Not a single one,” he bit out with clenchedteeth. Some of the vampires he’d destroyed had been in thatwarehouse holding her captive. “I’d gladly kill every one of themagain, especially the ones who hurt you.”
Mia’s head tilted to the side as red flashedthrough David’s eyes. Always so patient and kind with her, shesometimes forgot how lethal he could be. She’d witnessed hisbrutality within the warehouse when he’d helped take down hercaptors with ruthless efficiency. Unlike the vampires who had heldher captive, his ability to be so savage intrigued her, or perhapsit was just him who piqued her curiosity so much.
