“Ineverturned on the angels. I sought the answers to Lucifer’s questions and I paid for it. I warred with the angels because it was either fight or die. I turned on Lucifer to save usall.It was not an easy choice to make, and I would not have made it if Lucifer hadn’t forced my hand,” Caim replied. “I chose her, and I will stand by that choice no matter what happens from here on out.”
“I believe him,” I said. “He’s coming with us.”
“River—” Kobal started.
“He saved my life. He made the choice to do that in front of Lucifer, and Lucifer will kill him for it. He’s coming with us.”
Caim smiled at me as he ruffled his feathers. “You have chosen a wise queen, Kobal.” Before anyone could respond, he shifted into raven form and soared into the trees.
Erin and Vargas staggered away from where he’d stood. “What was that?” Erin breathed.
“Caim is the raven of Heaven,” Raphael replied. “I am surprised to see he can still shift into that form. It is a special gift bestowed on him by the being, but his connection to the raven seems to have left him with more of a conscience than the rest of the fallen.”
“Or maybe it’s because what he says is true, and he never wanted to break from all of you, as I’m sure some of the fallen wanted to do after being tossed aside in such a way,” I said. “Maybe because of the raven, he was able to keep more of a connection to his angelic side after he lost his connection to life.”
Raphael gazed at me for a long minute. “Perhaps,” he murmured.
I had a feeling he’d never considered such a thing before.
In the distance, a thunderous boom shook the night. “It’s time to leave,” Kobal said.
CHAPTER 38
River
Hawk decided to walk with the others to give Kobal and me some time together, but neither of us had spoken since we’d climbed into the pickup truck. Kobal sat awkwardly behind the wheel, his large body barely fitting into the small space as he kept his gaze focused on the dark road as only the moonlight guided us onward. Kobal didn’t want to risk stopping, and neither did I, but we couldn’t keep the headlights on either. It would only attract something to us.
In the woods, the darker outline of people, demons, and the hounds walking through the small trees lining the roadway could be seen. The further we got from the closed gateway, the healthier and larger the trees became.
We’d lost many of the humans and some of the demons who originally drove to the gateway with us, but we’d gained skelleins, hellhounds, and some of the palitons who had fled Hell. Every hour, those riding in the bed of the truck would switch out with some of the walkers and new riders would climb aboard. I hoped they were getting some sleep, but I doubted it.
My mind spun as I tried to process everything that had happened in such a short time. I kept opening my mouth to speak and then closing it again. I had no idea where to start or if I could put into words the chaos running through my mind.
“I should walk with the others,” I murmured.
“You are my queen; you will stay with me.”
“Kobal—”
“The humans must accept that things are different now.” His head turned toward me and his eyes flickered amber. “You must accept it too.”
“I have, in many ways. My views of the world are far different than what they were before we traveled to the gateway and into Hell. The angels are not all that is good, and Lucifer is not all that is evil. He is evil though, in his own way. The things he did…”
Kobal squeezed my hand when my voice trailed off.
“I was so cold, with those wraiths,” I said. “I’veneverfelt anything like what he did to me with them. Never felt anything like the influx of power that came from him and you touching me at the same time. I thought it would kill me, or that I would kill everyone near me.”
Turning away from him, I rested my forehead against the passenger-side window as I tried to suppress the memory. Squeezing my eyes shut, I winced as an unearthly screech pierced the air.
“Listen to the night,” I whispered. “This isn’t Earth, not anymore. These things are free because my abilities set them free. My choice or not, they are here because of me.”
“This is not your fault, do not blame yourself,” he said.
“I’m not blaming myself; I’m stating a fact. If I’d been given the choice, this wouldn’t have happened. This is not my fault, I was forced to do something I didn’t know I could do, but I’m still the catalyst behind it. I have to live with that knowledge.”
His thumb stroking the back of my hand sent shivers down my spine. It felt like it had been forever since I’d been able to lose myself in his embrace. Sparks danced across the tips of my fingers when I turned my hand over to clasp his. The light spread to encompass both our wrists.
“When you hit Lucifer with that blast of energy while I was fighting him in the cavern, it went through him and into me,” he said as he gazed at the life swirling around us.
